Page 412 - WhyAsInY

Why (as in yaverbaum)
Probably because we did not exactly look like most of the patients, none of whom was wearing a tie or carrying a briefcase, we were ush- ered to a remote part of the space, where we were seated in catty-corner fashion, with Nadel in full view of me, to my left. The doctor soon arrived. To say that he was scruffily clad would be kind. Worse, he had a three-day growth, not the fashion at the time, and something clearly told me that he had probably not showered since he had last shaved. It would be an understatement to say that my confidence level, such as it was, was eroding. He introduced himself, said that he had learned acu- puncture when he served with some agency of the U.N. in Africa, told us that this would be just our first treatment and that it would require a follow-up, which he described as a “booster,” in a week. I asked how the treatments worked. I received a mumble in return. I asked about the theoretical basis. Yet another mumble. What was their success rate? A grunt. The erosion was now complete, and my soft music fantasy was gone. One thing that I did hear from the doctor: he assured us that the treatments would not be painful.
Now the fun began. Nadel said that he would go first, and I was quick to oblige. He was in full view of me as the doctor’s assistant showed up bearing a tray with maybe a dozen needles, none shorter than what seemed to be about three and one-half inches. I looked for the custom- ary sterilizing alcohol and cotton. Silly me.
Nadel smiled gamely, I smiled supportively, and the assistant smiled for reasons that remain unclear. As he smiled, however, the assistant inserted Nadel’s first needle—and Nadel responded in what was not exactly Hemingwayesque fashion: he closed his eyes, bit his lip, and launched himself a full six inches out of his chair. Needless to say, I was not pleased. (I must interrupt this interminable saga to say that it just occurred to me, after all these years, that Nadel is German for you know what!)
Anyway, Nadel’s procedure continued with no more great displays on his part, and I girded myself for mine. No fool and a wizened veteran when it came to the management of pain, I stared at a fixed point on the clock, tried to relax my muscles, and, of course, commenced shallow
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