Page 566 - WhyAsInY

Why (as in yaverbaum)
or two when my dad had obviously been declining, we were so focused on him that we did not notice what I now take to be her own decline.
Dad’s funeral was conducted at graveside, with Kathy, Danny, Peter, Rachel, and David present (Dan was at Middlebury), as were Phyllis and her father, some of my father’s remaining family, and a few of my friends. I gave the eulogy without notes and spoke of his magic, not only of the magic that he performed for me, my children, and children who were his patients but also the magic of his fatherhood. I recounted what I knew of his life. And I spoke of the happiness that his practice and the grandchildren had given him and of my love for him. Kathy said that it was beautiful.
The last thing that I had said to my father as I left my parents’ home a few weeks before the fire was “Dad, take her to Florida.” That obviously did not happen, but I thought that I could help her to get there, to do something that she had always spoken about. Her best friend, Lillian, who had been her friend since she was a little girl, had an apartment there, and, after she and I conferred by phone, I bought an apartment for my mother, got plane tickets, and asked her to pack and be ready on a particular morning. We would take care of every- thing. All that she had to do was pack. Rachel and I drove up at the appointed time, and Mom was in her housecoat, having done nothing at all. As erratic as her behavior had been before and was that morning, I guess that I still could not understand or accept her true condition. We ultimately succeeded in getting her on a plane, and she flew down with Kathy, who stayed in Florida for a few days to get her settled in. Let me pause and say what a saint Kathy was. My mother was not easy to deal with in the best of circumstances, something that this circum- stance certainly was not. She and I hardly did well together at the time, and it was agreed (by Kathy and me) that my accompanying her to Florida was likely to be a disaster. When I met Kathy at the plane when she flew back, I presented my stalwart wife with a necklace of diamonds and sapphires (some of which I believe ultimately ended up in the engagement ring that Peter gave to Chris).
Kathy succeeded in getting my mother settled in, and we hired an • 548 •