Page 95 - SILFlip

To review: the content of my conversation with the bagel store/ restaurant alien lunatic was:
“Can I please have a bagel sandwich?”
However, the process was:
This guy has taken an instant dislike to me and he has decided to reject my request and make me as miserable as possible with his bs story about chicken salad. Why?
The process was his agenda. It’s what he was trying to DO TO ME as opposed to WHAT WE WERE TALKING ABOUT.
Relationships, casual or deep, suffer when people are not on the same “wavelength.” That’s a concept (wavelength) we have all heard before but now we know that it means that people are operating on different processes or agendas. One person might be trying to politely get a sandwich and the other person is saying fuck you for some unknown reason, or some reason they are not willing to share.
When one person in a relationship is operating on a process or agenda that is inhluenced by negativity such as selhishness, poor self control, resentment over a past insult and general insecurity and mistrust, the relationship suffers some injury. In order to return the relationship to a state of harmony, the relationship requires repair and repairs generally require apology and forgiveness.
Staying in Love: Secret Recipes For Making Love Last 95