Page 3 - January Report 2025

Robert A. Krause
THANKS FOR THE FEEDBACK
I remember the comment like it was yesterday, but
it was actually 20 years ago.
Susan and I had three young children, and Susan
was doing the lion’s (and tiger’s and bear’s) share
of chasing kids and keeping the house and our life
in order. After a long day of work, I greeted the
whole gang. Whatever Susan was cooking smelled
amazing—but I wasn’t hungry. My day had been
chaotic and resulted in a very late lunch. As I walked
through the kitchen, considering what I might do with
my time before supper, I asked Susan, “How long
before we eat?” Without lifting her head, she barked,
“I’m cooking as fast as I can!”
I learned two things about communication that day:
•
Communication can be complicated.
•
It’s worth the effort to get better at it.
The JSF meetings in December 2024 afforded multiple
opportunities for evaluation and discussion. Despite
favorable and affirming feedback from the initial
survey, I found myself anxious to be the center
of attention in the CEO performance evaluation. I
wanted to be prepared to receive any and all feedback
with grace and a growth mindset. I wanted to listen
carefully and communicate clearly. Communication
is a high stakes game where organizational health,
productivity, and relationships are involved.
In the end, the review went very well. I was able to relax
for the rest of the meetings and events. During the
CEO review, several directors recommended I read a
book called Thanks for the Feedback by Douglas Stone
and Sheila Heen to learn how to manage feedback.
Like someone offering a breath mint, I couldn’t help
but wonder… Had I fallen short of my communication
goal of receiving feedback well?
A kind director mailed a copy to my home that week,
and I read it right away. It’s a wonderful book, with
insights that are incredibly useful to anyone who
recognizes how complicated this process is and wants
to put in the effort to improve.
Here are a few
of my favorite
s t a t e m e n t s
from the book:
•
“Explicit
disagreement is better
than implicit misunderstanding.” Healthy
relationships and productive growth require
candid and honest disclosure. Disagreement is
not unhealthy. If we are clear and considerate
in our communication, we can learn from
one another and improve outcomes.
Misunderstandings that persist silently are
toxic to relationships, culture, outcomes and
growth. Want to go to Abilene?
•
“We can’t focus on how to improve until we
know where we stand.” Before we can chart a
course to our goal, we must first understand
where we are. JSF prioritizes this through
board, CEO, and director evaluations, as well as
Grantee Perception Reports.
•
“I understand your life through the lens of
my life; my advice for you is based on me.”
We all have biases and baggage. Objectivity
requires work to recognize the bias of our
lens. Understanding others requires us to
acknowledge the value of their lenses.
•
“Our own behavior is largely invisible to us.”
Every person and every organization has blind
spots. The pursuit of self-awareness is critical
to healthy relationships and impactful work.
•
“We have different rules in our heads about
how things should be. But we don’t think of
them as our rules. We think of them as the
rules.” Embracing the idea that my way is not
the only way requires humility.
These lessons apply equally to our communication
with families, friends, colleagues, grantees, and the
people our grantees serve. Thanks for the feedback.
P.S. Yes. I did get Susan’s permission to share this
story.
Education / A Powerful force for change Page 1