Page 122 - History of the STGA

THE BRAW BRAW GUIDES O’ FYVIE-O (with apologies to the “Bonnie Lass”)
Intro There yince was a gang O’ Scottish Tourist Guides
Cam traivelling up to the Garioch, (pronounced Gayrio) Wi’ J.J. at the wheel,
How good that made us feel,
For weel he kens the ways o’ Blue Badge Guide-ios
Chorus For – each year there’s CPD Which informs to a degree,
And usually involves some reversing-o. We get there in the end,
With John going round the bend,
Arriving at our programmed destination-o
1 None of us was loath
Tae gang up tae Arbroath,
The home of the famous Declaration-o.
Where in April ’51,
With their daring deed all done,
Some Glesgae students left the Stone of Scone-io.
2 Would you like your bitties rubbed? Or with bristly brushes scrubbed?
Before producing milk by the bucket-o? Mackie’s coos just chomp all day
On whisky-flavoured hay.
Lucky beasts! They lead the life of Riley-o.
Chorus
3 Next we got embroiled
In the black black North Sea Oil.
Pam was a WELL of information-o
She took us round the city
But omitting little Footdee (pronounced Fitty) While telling well-oiled stories by the barrel-o.
4 By bonnie Ythanside To Fyvie we did ride
To see the cursed castle with the ghosties-o.
Where first sons always die,
And the dwarf goes in a pie
While the starving wife is scratching at the windae-o.
Chorus
5 We’ve had 5 star tourist guides And plenty more besides
Tae lead us roon’ by Buchan And the Bullers-o.
A Spanish haggis ode –
A lively sicht, by Goad!
(Malcolm Milne & Pam Wells)
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