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Before we start, here are a few clarifying terms.
Terms:
Emotional Regulation: This refers to how we cope with and manage our emotions. Think of this in terms of three stages: Green, Yellow and Red.
Green: We are regulated and emotions are flowing but not taking over or dictating our actions.
Yellow: Emotions are starting to take over and something needs to be done to prevent them from fully taking charge.
Red: Emotions have taken over. Yikes!
Your child should learn to identify the different stages when he/she needs to use coping skills (yellow or red stage). As your child gets older, you can explain this on a scale of 1-5 or 1-10. Remember that it is important for you to remain aware of your own emotional state and when you need to engage in and model coping skills.
See Figure 1: Page 3
Co-Regulation: When a child is unable to regulate their emotions on their own they can benefit from co- regulation. Co-regulation is when you use warm and supportive responses to help model coping skills. You are helping your child regulate when they are unable to do so themselves. This involves staying neutral and calm. Think about how you soothe or calm a baby, that is co-regulating. Older children need help with this as well.
Dysregulation: Is a term used when someone is unable to manage their emotions and their emotions take over. A child is dysregulated when they are having a tantrum or when they are overwhelmed with emotions.
Coping skills: These are the skills we use to calm down or to manage our emotions. They constantly change and evolve. Parents, have a big toolbox of coping skills. J The more you model these, the more likely your child/ren will learn them.
Grounding skills: These are skills that help us get back in the present moment. Grounding skills are especially helpful in the “yellow” stage to help prevent an overreaction. They can help us be more aware of what is going on around us. Grounding skills can be a type of coping skill.
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