Page 36 - Provoke Magazine Vol3

I Ain’t Scared
By: Masako Mai
No Daddy to love, so why not get an old man? If one more friend introduces me to an old guy, I swear I’m going to throw up in my mouth. The first love a girl knows is the love of her father. Dad- dy-Daughter Dances, out for ice- cream on a rainy day, watching him dance with mother whispering in her ear, she giggles. Does this happen anymore?
Why does it seem like the only daddy-daughter dances these days is with these jokers that want you to dress up like a school girl and call him daddy? With the alarming rate of children having chil- dren, I’m afraid the fathers are absent, the mothers are angry, and the kids well- let us pray for the kids. Fear develops in the absence of love. Fear of not being enough; of not having enough; of trying to be enough. Fuck fear!
Have you ever noticed when you are trying to change the way you think about your current circumstance you always have these people in your life that want to remind you of the way you used to be? It is times like these when you must be active and in fact, as you are changing the way you think, change your circle of friends. I even encourage you to be your own best friend. Take yourself on a date, explore the most excellent life has to offer, smile, laugh, be completely and utterly in love with yourself. It has the best rewards — Discovery, Exploration, Inspiration, and Motivation. True Plea- sure.
Now that marriage is back to being the new “in thing” to do all my friends have someone they just have to introduce me too. Like being single is the bubonic plague, could you die from being single? I know you can die from a broken heart, I have seen it. Dwindling into nothingness thinking if there was only something you could have done differently to keep the fucker from cheating. Honey, I’m a tell you as my daddy told me: baby, you’re royalty. Life is like the game of chess; the Queen is the Most Powerful.
How did this happen? Selfish Feelings. I believe there is God and so at the beginning of time, there was a man called Adam, and a woman named Eve. Adam, being the only child wants things his way. As all the only children I know tend to insist on having things there way, all the time. Eve comes along, fashioned after Adam, an adjustment here and there, model two if you will all the kinks worked out. Going for a walk and perhaps being a bit hungry, sees
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a beautiful bright red fruit hanging from the tree, Eve picks the fruit and brings it back to share with Adam. They got scared, hid, and their spirit died. Love and fear cannot exist within the same space. One wonders what would have been had Adam taken the blame for the apple instead of victimizing himself. If was her fault, you gave her to me. The dysfunction within their relationship caused malfunction amongst their children, and there was death.
Research would have us believe. We have the authority to go back in time and right the wrongs of our ancestors. Aroma Freedom Technique is one of the methods; Heather Harborough is a local practitioner in the DFW area. Words is another method, speaking life into your situation. I am sure you have heard the phrase, change the man “human” by changing the way one thinks. In the beginning, there was the Word, and the Word was Life. Here is the reason, I have zero desire in dating old men. Single old men desire to date young women in search of their youth, and while it may seem to be exciting in the beginning. To my sisters looking for someone to play daddy and take care of you, he is only setting you back in time. Because in the end, his mindset, the traumatized youth of his past that he has failed to make amends with, a sweaty saggy set of balls, a big ego, and a whole lot of luggage. Who wants to unpack that shit! Not me. So, to my friends that insist on setting me with up with the old guy. Honey, the only thing old for me is old money. I ain’t scared to do what is necessary; please, you neither. Like, you got this, fix yourself.