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bbq proposal The Patron Saint of Whiskey: A Modest Proposal Ardie Davis aka Remus Powers BBQ Hall of Famer ardiedavis@kc.rr.com The standard means of capital punishment back then was decapitation. Here’s the tricky part that marks Lawrence’s fate as a beheaded martyr or a fire-roasted martyr. When Valerian’s capital edict was recorded for history, Patrick J. Healy’s scholarship suggests that a “p” was mistakenly omitted from the written account of Lawrence’s fate. If so, instead of “passus est,” meaning “martyrdom,” someone wrote “assus est” instead, meaning “he was roasted.” That omission of one letter changed barbecue history. Had the “p” been included, Archdeacon Lawrence would be a lesser known decapitated martyr. Drop the “p” and he is our Saint Lawrence of the Barbecue! Legend has it that Archdeacon Lawrence was literally roasted to death: placed on a metal gridiron above a blaz- ing fire on August 10, 258 AD at age 32. Although locals im- mediately praised him as a saint, he was never officially canonized as such, since official canonization protocol was developed thirteen hundred years later in the 12th century. By then Lawrence was another martyr among many. Contrary to legend, the Ice Age, not Saint Patrick, eliminated snakes from Ireland. Name something: animal, activity, illness, brew masters, bakers, butchers—almost anything—and there’s a saint for it. The faithful call upon saints for comfort, protection, in- sight, help or intercession. Saints hold sway in both sacred and secular society. The devout, the superstitious, and even the irreverent petition a saint or saints for help. Bar- becuers in the know—especially in Australia—revere “Saint Laurence, Saint of the Barbecue.” Saint Lawrence, a third century Roman Archdeacon, exem- plified compassion and action for our fellow humans who are without basic survival needs—food, clothing, shelter— and much like many in our barbecue community today, he used resources available to him to address those needs. As a 3rd century Roman Archdeacon, Lawrence was responsi- ble for stewardship of the church’s treasures. Unfortu- nately for Archdeacon Lawrence, Roman Emperor Valerian did not share his compassion for the poor, frail and dis- abled. He ordered Lawrence to transfer the church’s treas- ures to him. Since Lawrence believed that the many people he assisted with the church’s treasures were the true treas- ures of the church, he brought the sick, the lame, blind, poor and other treasured people to the Emperor. That did not sit well with Emperor Valerian. He ordered death to Archdeacon Lawrence. BarbecueNews.com - 18 OCTOBER 2019