Page 10 - March2022 Barbecue News Magazine

Ardie Davis
aka Remus Powers BBQ Hall of Famer ardiedavis@kc.rr.com
Our friends looked at him in sur- prise and dismay...
..”you are all wrong,” said the little man meekly. “I have been making believe.”
“Making believe!” cried Dorothy.
“Are you not a Great Wizard?”
“Hush, my dear,” he said; “don’t
speak so loud, or you will be over-
heard—and I should be ruined. I’m supposed to be a Great Wizard.” “And aren’t you?” she asked.
“Not a bit of it, my dear; I’m just a common man.”
“You’re more than that,” said the Scarecrow, in a grieved tone; “you’re a humbug.”
“Exactly so!” declared the little man, rubbing his hands together as if it pleased him; “I am a humbug.”
L. Frank Baum, The Wizard of Oz (1900), Chapter XV, The Discovery of Oz, The Terrible
Ever get the giggles at an inappropriate moment? How about in church during the preacher’s sermon? Something strikes you as funny and you want to burst out laughing, but you can’t! You’re supposed to be listening and paying attention. You can’t do that when you get the giggles.
That happened to me one March years ago in Le Mars, Iowa. Gretchen and I were sitting in church on a Sunday morning, trying to give our undivided attention to the pastor and his sermon while concerns such as I’m not prepared for tomorrow’s logic exam and I haven’t read the English assign- ment, distracted us from paying undivided attention to the sermon.
Our ears perked up when the pastor mentioned a passage from The Pil- grim’s Progress. The pastor said the author of the book was Paul Bunyan. Suddenly, instead of John Bunyan’s 17th century pilgrim, “Christian,” struggling through a Slough of Despond, we envisioned a modern mythi- cal Minnesota giant lumberjack taking a pilgrim’s journey with Babe the Blue Ox.
That alternative “Pilgrim’s Progress” tickled our funny bones. We didn’t burst out laughing, but our suppressed giggles were strong enough to make the pew we were sitting on vibrate. The pastor noticed. He was not amused. After correcting himself he gave us a stern look and made a com- ment about people who laugh at others’ mistakes.
We felt a mix of shame and humiliation, but we still thought the fantasy of Paul Bunyan and Babe the Blue Ox as pilgrims in The Pilgrim’s Progress was funny. In hindsight I think the pastor’s sermon would have been more effective had he turned his reference to Paul Bunyan into a laughable mo- ment for himself and the congregation. His innocent switch from a 17th century pilgrim burdened with guilt, despair and fear to a fearless giant lumberjack doing superhuman feats could have been memorable and per- haps inspired a whole series of sermons. That didn’t happen.
Mid-1960s technology was almost as different from today as 17th century Puritan preacher and writer John Bunyan was to 20th century fictional lumberjack Paul Bunyan. Per- sonal computers, laptops, touch-screen tablets, smart- phones, Siri, Alexa, Google, Bing, virtual reality, the Internet, the singularity, artificial intelligence, drones, email, texting, Facebook, Meta, Instagram, Twitter, blogs, TikTok, FireBoard, WiFIRE, robotic cooks & smart kitchens—were yet to be. Our imaginations were as active as today, but the influence of today’s technology wasn’t our reality.
Back then a pastor couldn’t and wouldn’t have covered up his mistake by inventing an alternative Pilgrim’s Progress featuring Paul Bunyan and Babe as pilgrims. No one would
have taken the pastor seriously. People were wary of stories that stretched the truth. “If you believe that, I have a bridge in Brooklyn to sell you,” or “Don’t spray water on my leg and tell me it’s raining,” or variations on such, were common expressions of wariness.
Wariness is a barbecue tradition. We can spin or listen to tongue-in-cheek tales by the barrel full while everybody knows it’s an embellished exagger- ated story. We’ve even been known to compete in pop up “Liar’s Clubs” to see who can make the most far-fetched story believable, all in the spirit of good clean fun.
Scams, con artists, hucksters are not new. Today they can access more hi- tech tools than in L. Frank Baum’s tale featuring a humbug Wizard that fooled and frightened Dorothy from Kansas until Toto tipped the screen that revealed him to be “just a common man.”
The why and how it is possible today to preach alternative “realities” that are far-fetched, with scant grounding in truth, yet are believed and acted upon by tens, thousands, even millions of people, baffles me.
A real life Dorothy, Dorothy Swaine Thomas, grew up in Baltimore, Mary- land, without a dog named Toto. However, what she and her husband William said almost a hundred years ago has stood the test of time. Al- though it doesn’t explain today’s conundrum in toto, it expresses what happens when people believe a situation or alleged fact is true. Known as the Thomas Theorem, it is especially relevant today: “If men define situa- tions as real, they are real in their consequences.” In other words, when people believe something is true or “real,” they behave accordingly.
Have you ever wondered what would happen if everyone believed real pigs can fly like the flying monkeys in the Land of Oz?
Meathead Goldwyn’s enormous success with his Amazing Ribs website and best-selling book, MEATHEAD, THE SCIENCE of GREAT BARBECUE and GRILLING (2016), plus a monthly column here in the Barbecue News, demonstrates that barbecuers today respect and want truth.
March is a mix of basketball Madness, Mardi Gras, Fat Tuesday, Ash Wednesday, Saint Patrick’s Day, winter storms, tornadoes, reruns of “The Wizard of Oz” movies, and whatever the weather, it’s time to barbecue. Here’s to Truth, Justice, Excellence in Barbecue and the American Way of Life! Happy March!
Dorothy Says:
BarbecueNews.com - 10
MARCH 2022