Page 13 - NARM Model for Working with Affect

NARM Affect Core Principle: Anger & Aggression
§In order to protect the attachment relationship, a child relies on the basic psychobiological coping mechanisms of splitting and projection
§Splitting: children can’t experience themselves as a good person in a bad situation
§e.g., if they’re feeling unloved, they can’t think: “Obviously my mother doesn’t have the capacity to love me. Clearly I’m a lovable person so there must be something wrong with her.”
• So children split:
oBad mother & good mother; bad father & good father oBad self & good self
§Making themselves bad and the caregiver good maintains hope
• They can do something to adapt to whatever the environmental
failure is that they’re experiencing (adaptive survival styles)
NARM Model for Working with Affect Laurence Heller, PhD & Brad J Kammer, LMFT, LPCC 15