Page 46 - NARM Model for Working with Affect

NARM Model For Working with Affect
1. Psychobiologicallyowntheirangerand/orgrief §People often aren’t aware that they are angry and/or grieving
• Unconsciously, many people use significant life energy fighting very hard to NOT feel the anger and/or grief
§Every step toward increasing connection with self, which includes connecting with our primary emotions, is experienced by the client as a threat to the structures created in order to adapt and survive
• This means that any uptick of authentic emotion is challenging the shame-based symbiosis that we’ve been in with our psychological parents (survival style identifications)
• So there is a payoff to avoiding emotions, staying stuck and regressed, in that the client doesn’t have to face what is from the child’s perspective the loss of the attachment relationship
NARM Model for Working with Affect Laurence Heller, PhD & Brad J Kammer, LMFT, LPCC 55