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The order of each is important:
▪ Starting with hard evidence with what you saw and heard is important. It is less likely to put people on
the defensive.
▪ Saying how you interpreted that evidence helps people understand your perspective. It maybe you
interpreted things completely wrongly. By hearing your interpretation, the other person gets the chance
to let you know whether they intended that or not.
▪ Letting people know the impact on you both practically and emotionally is more likely to result in
empathy from them than telling them they are selfish, annoying, disruptive etc.
▪ Letting them know what would be better for you / work well for you is CRUCIAL if you want things to
improve.
Adapted by K Messenger from Clean Feedback Model (www.trainingattention.co.uk)
