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Repair: Key Principles
Be consistent in carrying out Repair whenever someone is
disadvantaged
By doing so, we keep expectations high and send a strong message about
pro-social skills
Be clear on the purpose
Be clear with all involved the purpose of the repair being to plan amends,
restore relationships and teach empathy. Note that it is not to work out
how to manage next time – Coaching Conversations are designed for that
Don’t force an apology
It doesn’t lead to improved skills and often results in resentment
If a child refuses to repair
Keep expectations high by noting that refusal to repair suggests missing
skills in empathy; then create a practice schedule for building these skills
Each element of the 3-part structure is important
Part 1 provides practice at flexible thinking and improves cognitive
empathy. Part 2 ensures the process is not tokenistic and amends make a
real difference. Part 3 helps ensure the amends will be actioned