Page 17 - IAV Digital Magazine #539

iAV - Antelope Valley Digital Magazine
A woman tries getting on a bus, but realizes her skirt is too tight. As the bus stopped and it was her turn to get on, she became aware that her skirt was too tight to allow her leg to come up to the height of the first step of the bus.
Slightly embar- rassed and with a quick smile to the driver, she reached behind her to unzip her skirt a little, think- ing that this would give her enough slack to raise her leg.
She tried to take the step, but only to discover that she couldn't.
With a little smile to the driver, she again reached behind herself to unzip a little more and again was unable to take the step.
After becoming quite frustrated and embarrassed, she once again attempted to unzip her skirt a bit more in order to allow more leg room to get on the first step of
the bus.
About this time, a large Texan who was standing behind her picked her up easily by the waist and placed her gently on the step of the bus.
She went ballistic and turned to the would-be Samaritan and yelled "How dare you touch my body! I don't even know who you are!"
The Texan removed his hat smiled and drawled "Well ma'am, normally I would agree with you...
But... After you unzipped my fly three times I kinda figured we were friends. Best of friends"
A lonely 70-year- old widow decid- ed that it was time to marry again. She put an ad in the local newspaper that read: "Husband wanted! Must be in my age group, must not beat me, must not run around on me and must still be good in bed. All
applicants please apply in person."
The following day, she heard the doorbell. Much to her dismay, she opened the door to see a gray- haired gentleman sitting in a wheel- chair. He had no arms or legs.
"You're not really asking me to con- sider you, are you?" the widow asked: "Just look at you -- you have no legs!"
The old gent smiled: "Therefore, I can- not run around on you!"
"You don't have any arms either!" she snorted.
Again, the old man smiled: "Therefore, I can never beat you!"
She raised an eyebrow and asked intently: "Are you still good in bed?"
The old man leaned back, beamed a big smile and said: "I rang the doorbell, didn't I?"
Howard Stern Wants Meat Loaf’s Family To Support COVID Vaccines
By Katherine Rodriguez | NJ Advance Media for NJ.com
Radio
host Howard Stern is calling on Meat Loaf’s family to speak in favor of the COVID-19 vac- cines after the rock star’s death last Thursday.
Meat Loaf’s fami- ly announced that the rock singer died at the age of 74 last week.
The family did not provide a cause of death, but a report from TMZ, citing unnamed sources, said the rocker died from a severe case of COVID-19.
It is unconfirmed if Meat Loaf was
vaccinated by the time he passed away.
Meat Loaf has been outspoken about COVID-19 regulations in the past, telling The Pittsburgh Post- Gazette in August: “I hug people in the middle of COVID. I understood stopping life for a little while, but they cannot con- tinue to stop life because of poli- tics. And right now they’re stop- ping because of politics.”
Stern, who was speaking on his radio show this week, implied that Meat Loaf was unvaccinat- ed.
“Poor Meat Loaf got sucked into
some weird f****** cult,” he said. “And some- how really believed that — he made a state- ment, ‘I’d rather die a free man than take that vaccine.’ And now he’s dead!”
Stern also urged Meat Loaf’s fami- ly to speak out in support of vac- cines.
“I wish the family would come for- ward and say, ‘Ya know, when Meat Loaf was laying there in the hospital and he couldn’t breathe, he said, ‘I made a mis- take. I should have taken the vaccine.’ Like all these anti- vaxxers, they all say, ‘I made a mistake.’”
iAV - Antelope Valley Digital Magazine