Page 17 - IAV Digital Magazine #443

iAV - Antelope Valley Digital Magazine
Negotiations between union members and their employer were at an impasse. The union denied that their workers were flagrantly abusing the sick-leave pro- visions set out by their contract.
One morning at the bargaining table, the company's chief negotiator held aloft the morn- ing edition of the newspaper, "This man," he announced, "called in sick yesterday!"
There on the sports page, was a photo of the sup- posedly ill employ- ee, who had just won a local golf tournament with an excellent score.
A union negotiator broke the silence in the room.
"Wow!" he said. "Just think of the score he could have had if he wasn't sick!"
A nun, badly need- ing to use to the restroom, rushed into a local Hooters.
Every time the lights would go out, the place would erupt into cheers.
However, when the revelers saw the nun, the room went dead. She walked up to the bar- tender, and asked, 'May I use the
ladies' room?
The bartender replied, "OK, but I should warn you that there is a stat- ue of a naked man in there wearing only a fig leaf." Well, in that case, I'll just look the other way, 'said the nun. So the bar- tender showed the nun to the back of the restaurant.
After a few min- utes, she came back out of, and the whole place stopped. She went to the bartender and said, 'Sir, I do not understand. Why did they applaud for me just because I went to the restroom? '
Well, now they know you're the one of us, 'said the bartender,' Would you like a drink? '' No thank you, but, I still do not under- stand, 'said the puzzled nun.
'You see,' laughed the bartender, 'ev- ery time someone goes to the ladies room and lifts the fig leaf on that stat- ue, the lights go out. Now, how about that drink?
A 60 year old mil- lionaire is getting married and throws a big wedding reception. His friends are quite jealous and in a quiet moment one of them asks him how did he land
such a hot 23 year old beauty.
“Simple,” grins the millionaire, “I faked my age."
His friends are really amazed and ask him how much he said.
"Well," he replied, "I said I was 87!"
A football coach walked into the locker room before a big game, looked over to his star player and said, "I'm not supposed to let you play since you failed math, but we really need you in there. So, what I have to do is ask you a math question, and if you get it right, you can play."
The player agreed, so the coach looked into his eyes intently and asked, "Okay, now concentrate hard and tell me the answer to this... What is two plus two?"
The player thought for a moment and then answered, "Four?"
"Did you say four?" the coach exclaimed, excited that he had given the right answer.
Suddenly, all the other players on the team began screaming, "Come on coach, give him another chance!"
Man Arrested For
Having ‘Unnatural Sex’
With Three Cows
By Zoe Drewett
One of the cows, owned by a milk- man in Vadodara, a city in northern India, was found dead the next day.
The man is accused of hav- ing sex with the animals at some point between Sunday night and Monday morning by their owner Lalji Rabari.
According to the Times of India, Rabari made a complaint to offi- cers at Varnama police station that one of his work- ers, named only Rathodiya, was suspected of ‘having unnatural sex, committing mischief by killing
and injuring cat- tle and outraging religious feeling’.
Police said that when Rabari came to the cow shed on Monday morning, he found the legs of three of his cows tied together with rope.
One of the ani- mals was lying on the floor, dead.
When Rabari probed further, he suspected somebody might have had inter- course with the cows.
He pointed the finger at laborer Rathodiya, because he claims he had indulged in a
similar act with a calf two years ago.
Rabari took the man to the police station to hand him in, the news- paper reported. When police asked him if he had
committed the act, Rathodiya admitted the extreme act of beastiality.
An investigating officer said the laborer told them that his brother and two other people were also present at the time, but his claims have since been dis- missed by offi- cers.
It is understood he was suffering from mental health problems.
‘When we talked to the villagers, they told us that Rathodiya has psychological problems and he even blabbers when he is alone,’ an official told the paper.
iAV - Antelope Valley Digital Magazine