Page 17 - IAV Digital Magazine #492

iAV - Antelope Valley Digital Magazine
A man approached a local person in Washington DC.
"What's the quick- est way to New York?"
The local scratched his head.
"Are you walking or driving?" he asked the stranger.
"I'm driving."
"That's the quick- est way!"
An elderly gentle- man was on his deathbed as his wife and three children and nurse stood close by.
Then he spoke:
Bill, you take the Beverly Hills houses.
"Mary, you take the offices in the Government Center.
"Debra, the apart- ments over the L.A. Plaza are yours.
"To my dear wife, take all the resi- dential buildings near downtown."
The nurse was really impressed.
She said, "Your husband must have been quite a man, amassing so much property to leave to all of you."
And the wife responded, "What property? ... the schmuck had newspaper deliv- ery routes he is assigning to us!
Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson went on a camp- ing trip. As they lay down for the night, Holmes said:” Watson, look up into the sky and tell me what you see?"
Watson said, "I see millions and millions of stars."
Holmes: "And what does that tell you?"
Watson: "Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Theologically, it tells me that God is great and that we are small and insignificant. Meteorogically, it tells me that we will have a beauti- ful day tomorrow. What does it tell you?"
Holmes: "Somebody stole our tent."
David Hasselhoff walked into a bar and ordered a beer.
The bartender said: “It’s a pleas- ure to serve you Mr. Hasselhoff.”
“Just call me Hoff,” said the actor.
“Sure,” said the bartender. “No hassle.”
Two old guys, Fred and Sam went to the movies. A few minutes after it started, Fred heard Sam rustling around and he seemed to be searching on the floor under his seat.
“What are you doing?” asked Fred.
Sam, a little grumpy by this time, replied “I had a caramel in my mouth and it dropped out. I can’t find it.”
Fred told him to forget it because it would be too dirty by now. “But I’ve got to,” said Sam, “my teeth are in it!”
Fisherman Is Left Gobsmacked After Hauling A Freaky Three-legged Creature
By Emily Webber, Mailonline
A fisherman was left gob- smacked after hauling a three- legged slimy creature from the Atlantic Ocean.
The bulbous- headed creature was seen with a fishing line in its huge mouth after it was caught off Coney Island, Brooklyn.
Footage shows the sea monster writhing around on the decking of a fishing boat as it twists its octopus-like ten- tacles.
The fisherman exclaims: 'What the hell, what is that? Mom!'
'Mom, do you see this?'
The bizarre
creature has slits for gills which appear to stare down the camera like eyes.
His mother screams: 'Holy s**t! What the hell is that?'
The dumbfound- ed fisherman replies: 'What is happening?'
The odd clip was posted to TikTok by Nataliia Vorobok and has since received 1.4mil- lion likes.
People were quick to question the creature's welfare while
one likened the creature to Dart in the Netflix drama, Stranger Things.
Another user said: 'Put it back in the water!!!!'
Some have said the creature is a clearnose skate which is a species of carti- laginous fish.
The diamond- shaped skate is a brown or grey colour which lives in the northwestern Atlantic and migrates inshore and out to deep- er waters depending on the season.
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