Page 17 - iAV Digital Magazine #390

The only true FREE CLASSIFIEDS in the Antelope Valley... Where buyers and sellers meet!
For Sale: Commercial zoned. 2.5acres w/ mobile home & 3000sqft metal bldg in No. Edwards $100,000 • 824-3333336
STORAGE/
SPACE
SECuRE mINI STORAGE. $1 moves you in. Selected sizes. Call for details 24hrs Security, Private PO Boxes, No Deposit Required. Units 10’-12’ high not 8’ 661-947-5400 37560 Sierra Hwy Palmdale
1973 Chevy am radio, origi- nal $25 • 943-6071390
1973 radio track, am/fm $40
• 943-6071
390
1969 Fisher body service manual, very rare $35. In depth on everything but motor & Trans • 272-9273 bet 8am-8:30pm390
Repair manual for 1984-94 Ford Tempo & Mercury Topaz. Slightly used, good cond $15 • 272-9273 bet 8am-8:30pm390
2)Door window for 1970 Chevy Nova $50ea • 266- 1947390
New in box motorcycle headlight CY50 $20 • 266- 1947390
12 ton bottle jack, USA $45 • 256-4904389
Buick 425 head, dual four barrel, aluminum cover, run- ning engine • 944-5373389
4 Tires , size 700/14/LT, like
Two coworkers were talking by the water foun- tain one guy said, "Today I got through the first step of getting divorced."
The second guy replies, "Oh, did you go to Mr. Guggenheim? Everyone goes to him for divorces."
The first man replies, "No, I just got married".
A Swiss guy, looking for directions, pulls up at a bus stop where two Englishmen are waiting.
"Entschuldigung, koen- nen Sie Deutsch sprechen?" he says.
The two Englishmen just stare at him.
"Excusez-moi, parlez vous Francais?"
The two continue to stare.
"Parlare Italiano?" No response.
"Hablan ustedes Espanol?" Still nothing.
The Swiss guy drives off, extremely disgusted.
The first Englishman turns to the second and says, "Maybe we should learn a foreign lan- guage...."
"Why?" says the other, "That bloke knew four languages, and it didn't do him any good."
A Husband took the wife to a disco on the week- end. There was an extremely well dressed, physically fit, good look- ing guy on the dance floor. He was waltzing, fox-trotting, break danc- ing, moon walking, doing back flips, smiling and having a great time.
The wife turned to her husband, who isn't much of a dancer, and said: "See that guy? 25 years ago he proposed to me
and I turned him down."
Husband says: "Looks like he's still celebrating!"
Tom was in his early 50s, retired and started a sec- ond career. However, he just couldn't seem to get to work on time. Every day, he was five, 10, 15 minutes late. But, he was a good worker and real sharp, so the boss was in a quandary about how to deal with it.
Finally, one day he called Tom into his office for a talk. "Tom, I have to tell you, I like your work ethic. You do a bang-up job, but your being late so often is quite bother- some."
"Yes, I know boss and I am working on it."
"Well good, you are a team player. That's what I like to hear. It's odd though, your coming in late. I know you're retired from the Air Force. What did they say if you came in late there?"
"They stand at attention and say: 'Good morning, General.'"
A little old lady was walk- ing down the street drag- ging two large plastic garbage bags behind her.
One of the bags was ripped and every once in a while a $20 fell out onto the sidewalk. The policeman noticed this and stopped her, and said, "Madam, there are $20 bills falling out of that bag."
"Oh, really? Darn it!" said the little old lady. "I'd bet- tergobackandseeifI can find them.. Thanks for telling me officer." "Well, now, not so fast," said the cop. Where did you get all that money? You didn't steal it, did you?" "Oh, no, no", said the old lady.
"You see, my back yard
is right next to a Golf course. A lot of Golfers come and pee through a knot hole in my fence, right into my flower gar- den. It used to really tick me off. Kills the flowers, you know. Then I thought, "Why not make the best of it? So, now, I stand behind the fence by the knot hole, real quiet, with my hedge clippers. Every time some guy sticks his thing through my fence, I sur- prise him, grab hold of it and say, "OK., buddy! Give me $20, or off it comes."
"Well, that seems only fair," said the cop, laugh- ing. "OK. Good luck! Oh, by the way, what's in the other bag?"
"Not everybody pays."
Typical macho man mar- ried typical good-looking lady and after the wed- ding, he laid down the following rules:
"I'll be home when I want, if I want and at what time I want-and I don't expect any hassle from you. I expect a great dinner to be on the table unless I tell you that I won't be home for dinner. I'll go hunting, fishing, boozing and card-playing when I want with my old buddies and don't you give me a hard time about it. Those are my rules. Any com- ments?"
His new bride said, "No, that's fine with me. Just understand that there will be sex here at seven o'clock every night.. whether you're here or not."
A French guest who was staying in a hotel in Edmonton phoned room service for some pepper.
"Black pepper, or white pepper?" asked the concierge.
"Toilette pepper!"
mOBILE HOmE FOR SALE! Double wide. 24x65, Aluminum sidings, 2+2, den. New ref range dishwasher, 2 cooler w/ Aircon in the kitchen. Includes all furni- tures, Fixtures, TV, appliances & others MUST SEE! 661-256-0868 serious inquiry !!!
FIRST TImE BuyERS
Why rent when you can own? Free list w/pics of homes available for under $1300/month WWW. RCAROSELLSHOmES.COm zERO DOWNPAymENT
661-860-7796
Amigo Real Estate, Agent #01785140
SPORTinG
Goodyear tire P235/75 $70
• 818-219-1416 394
Hi-performance tires, 195/60R15 $85 • 818-219-
1416 394
1982 official Chevy light truck shop manual. Great cond $35 • 272-9273 bet
8:30am-8:30pm 394
Pair of 13” trailer tires w/ 5 lugs, 6ply, size B-78-13st tubeless. Good tread on tires $70 • 272-9273 bet
8:30am-8:30pm 394
7’x2’ Flatbed $500 • 728- 7687394
Trail FX bedliner for full size GM pick up, xlnt cond $50 • 202-8503393
1973 Eldorado 8track, am/fm. Xlnt cond $50 • 943-
6071 393
7 prs. of 14-16" snow chains. $10 each pair, or all for $60. All good cond,
GOOdS
Man’s bike 18spd, 26” tires. Maroon & gray, almost new
$80 • 818-219-1416 394
Free: Boxes full of hunting, fishing & camping equip-
ment • 945-9613 393
Treadmill machine $60 • 943-6071392
Exercise bike $100 • 948-
2484
391
Moving, must sell. Proform Crossfit treadmill, 6 mons
$250 • 794-8522 390
Rally sports Tour De France bike $60 • 266-1947390
Pool table w/ new balls & sticks, good cond $150 •
818-667-0907 389
Used helmet for hockey or football w/ full face guard $15 • 272-9273 bet 8:30am-
8:30pm only 373
VEHiClES
ACCESSORIES
9x20 Bias tires $45ea; Tubes $10 • 530-370-9283394
454 Chevy engine, big block w/ hi-rise & holly carburator, stater. Complete engine •
942-0820 394
some new • 947-9680
392
Early Mustang parts. new aftermarket 68LF fender, 65 fender extensions, headlight trim,timing cover, v-8 intake manifolds, gen bracket, gas caps, radio grills, windshield wipers. Lots more. All for $150, or sale parts • 947-
Old chrome V6 metal emblem $19, some pitting maybe from an old International Harvester • 272-9273 bet 8:30am- 8:30pm387
Chilton Toyota truck repair manual from 1970-88. Includes wiring & vacuum diagrams. For Land Cruiser & 4Runner, 4wheel drive & diesel engines • 272-9273 bet 8am-8:30pm only385
Mercedes Benz brakelight lens covers for 1970-1980’s. Disconnected, ready to go. One pair $68 • 272-9273 bet 8am-8:30pm377
Repair manual for Dodge full size pick up trucks 1994-96 $21 for 2WD & 4WD, gas & diesel engines • 272-9273 bet 8am- 8:30pm377
13” Dexter rim for very old trailer. Good cond $35 • 272-9273 bet 8am-8:30pm376
9680
392
4 Dodge chrome alloy 20 in. wheels. 8 bolt pattern, 10" wide. Like new, used less than 2K miles. No scratch- es or road rash. Includes caps & bolts. No tires. $300 • 947-9680392
Chevy power steering rac- ing box $250 • 483-7609391
Used OEM car parts in lot, great cond. All brands, domestics & imports • 488- 4352391
Car jack $15 • 256-4904391
Parting out 1977 Ford F250 pick up, complete. Has not run for over 10yrs. No win- dows • 272-9273 bet 8am- 8:30pm only391
new $150 • 794-8675
389
Repair manual for basic car-
16
661-266-4-ADS
ANTELOPE VALLEY FREE CLASSIFIEDS ;