Page 19 - iAV Digital Magazine #390

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Fact Check: Pro-hotdogGroup Says It's Not A Sandwich
2007 Bush Hog
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By George Jones
(RNN) - The food classi- fication in which the hot dog fits has been long debated, and the argu- ment probably has a lot more mileage.
The National Hot Dog and Sausage Council (yes, that really exists) has dedicated itself to everything associated with tube-shaped processed meat placed in between a sliced bun. The organization weighed in Friday and declared the hot dog is not, we repeat not, a sandwich. It's also not a non-sandwich. It's some- thing unique and euphoric that is beyond the confines of defini- tion.
Umm, OK then.
They obviously have some bias, so we exam- ine some of the most notable parts of their statement. The following is a completely satirical and somewhat reliable analysis of the group's position.
NATIONAL HOT DOG AND SAUSAGE COUN- CIL: "The Council has often followed American history and USDA guid-
ance on the issue and fallen on the side of the hot dog as a sandwich."
FACT CHECK: The NHDSC is admitting that, at one time, it called the hot dog a sandwich. Aside from that, the USDA actually spent time to define what a sandwich is, but there's a food recall every week? Go home, federal health inspec- tors, you're drunk.
NHDSC: "Just as politics and religion can both unite and polarize, the question of whether a hot dog is a sandwich has stirred its followers’ fury, and unless settled soon, may go down has one of American histo- ry’s most polarizing dis- agreements."
FACT CHECK: If a wiener slapped between bread is on the same level as politics and reli- gion, we might as well hand the deed to Earth over to the Martians right now.
NHDSC: "The deep philosophical divide has played out this week fol- lowing National Sandwich Day on the NBC Today Show, ESPN’s SportsCenter, in
NFL locker rooms and across the internet. Presidential candidate Carly Fiorina has also weighed in."
FACT CHECK: These are all true. The NHDSC does, however, exclude a now-defunct podcast that aimed to shed light on the issue through careful research and debate - and a little tomfoolery.
NHDSC: "A hot dog is an exclamation of joy, a food, a verb describing one ‘showing off’ and even an emoji. It is truly a category unto its own."
FACT CHECK: This is important because it is the foundation of the group's position. However, if the item in question is used so interchangeably, then it cannot possibly be a category unto its own. Someone's been sniffing too much of the meat- curing salts, eh?
NHDSC: "Limiting the hot dog’s significance by saying it’s ‘just a sand- wich’ category is like calling the Dalai Lama ‘just a guy,'" said NHDSC President Janet Riley.
FACT CHECK: There is no specific guidance that the Dalai Lama must be male; and the current leader of Tibetan Buddhism, Tenzing Gyatso, has shown no opposition to a female successor - as long as she's smokin' hot. His words, not ours.
NHDSC: "We hope our position offers America some clarity and peace of mind."
FACT CHECK: We may never achieve clarity, but if you pass us a beer with that dog, it will con- tribute greatly to our peace of mind
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