Page 17 - IAV Digital Magazine #487

iAV - Antelope Valley Digital Magazine
A priest and a taxi driver both died and went to heav- en. St. Peter was at the Pearly gates waiting for them.
'Come with me', said St. Peter to the taxi driver.
The taxi driver did as he was told and followed St. Peter to a man- sion. It had any- thing you could imagine from a bowling alley to an olympic size pool.
'Wow, thank you', said the taxi driv- er.
Next, St. Peter led the priest to a rugged old shack with a bunk bed and a little old tel- evision set.
'Wait, I think you are a little mixed up', said the priest. 'Shouldn't I be the one who gets the man- sion? After all I was a priest, went to church every day, and preached God's word.'
'
Yes, that's true. But during your sermons people slept. When the
taxi driver drove, everyone prayed.'
A drunk man who smelled like beer sat down on a subway next to a priest. The man's tie was stained, his face was plas- tered with red lip- stick, and a half- empty bottle of gin was sticking out of his torn coat pocket. He opened his news- paper and began reading.
After a few min- utes the man turned to the priest and asked, 'Say Father, what causes arthritis?'
The priest replies, 'My Son, it's caused by loose living, being with cheap, wicked women, too much alcohol, contempt for your fellow man, sleeping around with pros- titutes and lack of a bath!'
The drunk mut- tered in response, 'Well, I'll be damned, ' Then returned to his paper.
The priest, think- ing about what he had said, nudged the man and apol-
ogized. 'I'm very sorry. I didn't mean to come on so strong. How long have you had arthritis?'
The drunk answered, 'I don't have it, Father. I was just reading here that the Pope does.'
MORAL: Make sure you under- stand the ques- tion before offer- ing the answer.
The husband says to his wife, "You always carry my photo in your handbag to the office. Why?"
She says, "When there is a prob- lem, no matter how impossible, I look at your pic- ture and the prob- lem disappears."
He smirks and replies, "You see, how miraculous and powerful I am for you?"
She calmly replies, "Yes, I see your picture and say to myself, 'What other prob- lem can there be greater than you?'"
11 UPS Employees Caught Running Drug Trafficking Operation On the Job for Past 10 Years Successfully
Up to 11 UPS employees were caught running a full scale drug operation on the job for the past 10 years. According to reports, the oper- ation was run by a 49 year old employee named Mario Barcelo. He was working for UPS for 20 years.
According to reports they were able to move thousands
pounds of nar- cotics and mari- juana on a week- ly basis. They used regular cardboard boxes and their expert- ise of knowing the UPS routes, to easily deliver the shipments through "private" routes. UPS described the method they used to bypass security check- points as "sim- ple".
According to
reports they were secretly under investiga- tion for the past 10 years and didn't realize it. They bought mansions, luxury cars, and went on extravagant vacations. They were living the life of million- aires. What seemed like a real life movie script, came to a Hollywood style end.
iAV - Antelope Valley Digital Magazine