Page 16 - IAV Digital Magazine #413
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The only true FREE CLASSIFIEDS in the Antelope Valley... Where buyers and sellers meet!
Thinking"Out of theBox"
Many hundreds of years ago in a small Italian town, a merchant had the misfortune of owing a large sum of money to the moneylender. The moneylender, who was old and ugly, fancied the merchant's beautiful daughter so he pro- posed a bargain. He said he would forgo the merchant's debt if he could marry the daugh- ter. Both the merchant and his daughter were horrified by the propos- al.
The moneylender told them that he would put a black pebble and a white pebble into an empty bag. The girl would then have to pick one pebble from the bag. If she picked the black pebble, she would become the moneylen- der's wife and her father's debt would be forgiven. If she picked the white pebble she need not marry him and her father's debt would still be forgiven. But if she refused to pick a pebble, her father would be thrown into jail.
They were standing on a pebble strewn path in the merchant's garden. As they talked, the mon- eylender bent over to pick up two pebbles. As he picked them up, the sharp-eyed girl noticed that he had picked up two black pebbles and put them into the bag. He then asked the girl to
pick her pebble from the bag.
What would you have done if you were the girl? If you had to advise her, what would you have told her? Careful analysis would produce three possibilities:
1. The girl should refuse to take a pebble. 2. The girl should show that there were two black pebbles in the bag and expose the money- lender as a cheat.
3. The girl should pick a black pebble and sacri- fice herself in order to save her father from his debt and imprisonment.
The above story is used with the hope that it will make us appreciate the difference between lat- eral and logical thinking. The girl put her hand into the moneybag and drew out a pebble.
Without looking at it, she fumbled and let it fall onto the pebble- strewn path where it immediately became lost among all the other pebbles.
"Oh, how clumsy of me," she said. "But never mind, if you look into the bag for the one that is left, you will be able to tell which pebble I picked." Since the remaining pebble is black, it must be assumed that she had picked the white one. And since the money- lender dared not admit his dishonesty, the girl changed what seemed an impossible situation into an advantageous one.
moRAl oF The SToRy: Most complex problems do have a solution
"Class," said the school- teacher, "let's play a little game. I'll say a quote; if you can tell me who said it, you don't have to come to school on Monday!"
The kids cheered.
"OK," continued the teacher, "here goes: We have nothing to fear but fear itself."
Little Billy Tran's hand shot up. "Franklin Delano Roosevelt!"
"Correct," said the teacher. "You don't have to come to school on Monday, Billy."
"I'm Vietnamese," said Billy. "We value educa- tion. I'll be here on Monday."
The teacher continued. "Let's try another: Nearly all men can stand adver- sity, but if you want to test a man's character, give him power."
Little Lily Chan's hand went up. "Abraham Lincoln!" "
That's right!" said the teacher. "Enjoy your day off, Lily."
"Thanks ma'am," said Lily, "but I'm Chinese, and we also value edu- cation. I'll be here."
"Fucking immigrants!" said someone in the back. "Who said that?" the teacher snapped. "Donald Trump," said Little Johnny. "See ya Tuesday!"
Patient 1: "Why did you run away from the opera- tion table?"
Patient 2: "The nurse was repeatedly saying 'don't get nervous', 'don't be afraid', 'be strong', 'this is a small operation only', things like that."
Patient 1: "So what was wrong in that? Why were
you so afraid?"
Patient 2: "She was talk- ing to the surgeon!"
There were two evil brothers. They were rich, and used their money to keep their ways from the public eye. They even attended the same church, and looked to be perfect Christians.
Then, their pastor retired, and a new one was hired. Not only could he see right through the brothers' deception, but he also spoke well and true, and the church started to swell in num- bers.
A fund-raising campaign was started to build a new assembly. All of a sudden, one of the broth- ers died. The remaining brother sought out the new pastor the day before the funeral and handed him a check for the amount needed to finish paying for the new building.
"I have only one condi- tion," he said. "At his funeral, you must say my brother was a saint."
The pastor gave his word, and deposited the check.The next day, at the funeral, the pastor did not hold back. "He was an evil man," he said. "He cheated on his wife and abused his fam- ily." After going on in this vein for a small time, he concluded with, "But, compared to his brother, he was a saint"
So, Sylvester Stallone, Chuck Norris and Arnold Schwarzenegger are sit- ting in a bar, and Sylvester Stallone is like: "Guys, we should make a movie with the three of us, but I'm all out of ideas at the moment, I'm kind of bored with the standard action flicks."
Chuck says: "Don't you have any ideas?"
"Yeah, this may sound silly, but I was actually thinking about doing a movie on great classical composers"
That's when Arnold throws himself in the conversation and says: "That sounds like a great idea! Sylvester, you can be Mozart, and Chuck can be Beethoven!"
"And who will you be, Arnold?" "I'll be Bach."
A woman in her 40's went to a plastic surgeon for a face-lift. The sur- geon told her about a new procedure called "The Knob," where a small knob is placed on the back of a woman's head and can be turned to tighten up her skin to produce the effect of a brand new face lift.
Of course, the woman wanted "The Knob." Over the course of the years, the woman tight- ened the knob and the effects were wonderful. The woman remained young looking and vibrant.
After fifteen years, the woman returned to the surgeon with two prob- lems. "All of these years, everything has been working just fine. I've had to turn the knob many times and I've always loved the results. But now I've developed two annoying problems: "First, I have these terri- ble bags under my eyes and the knob won't get rid of them."
The doctor looked at her closely and said, "Those aren't bags, those are your breasts." She sighed and said, "Well, I guess there's no point in asking about the goat- ee...."
The doctor gave me 4 months to live. So I shot him. The judge gave me 20 years. Problem solved.
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