Page 7 - IAV Digital Magazine #485

iAV - Antelope Valley Digital Magazine
Vegan Single MumDrinks SpermSmoothies Every Morning To Give Her Energy
By Lisa Bowman
It’s an unconven- tional start to the day, but
this woman swears by gulping down a smoothie every morning, with the key ingredient being... a tea- spoonful of sperm.
29-year-old Tracy Kiss has been drinking the inter- esting concoction for the past month, saying it’s boosted both her mood and her immunity.
The mum-of-two is currently single, so harvests her sperm from her best friend – or rather, he har- vests it and deliv- ers it to her up to three times a week. What are friends for, eh?
Tracy – who’s vegan – stores it in tubs in the fridge with
the rest of her groceries.
The mum-of-
two from Buckinghamshire then whizzes the batch up into a smoothie, with complementary
ingredients such as bananas, seeds and almond milk. ‘I’d been feeling run down and had no energy, but now I’m full of beans and my mood has improved,’ says Tracy.
The personal trainer and quali- fied nutritional adviser claims that sperm con- tains lots of vita- mins and miner- als – including B12, which veg- ans like herself lack in their diets.
Nutritional value aside for a moment, just how does this unusual ingredient alter the taste of her breakfast drink?
‘Every batch tastes different, depending on what he’s been eating,’ she reveals. ‘If he’s been drinking alcohol or eaten something partic- ularly pungent like asparagus, I ask him to give me a heads up so I know not to drink it neat.’
‘Things like pineapple and peppermint make it taste better, but I’ll happily take it straight off a spoon usually.’
Tracy says she understands it may seem off- putting – but the results are worth it.
‘People are so weird about sperm when in actual fact a tea- spoon is filled with amazing goodness,’ she says.
The single mum is actually no stranger to incor- porating sperm into her daily rou- tine – she’s been slathering it on her face since last year, when she discovered it made a brilliant facial, and she now credits it for improving her complexion.
Unsurprisingly, Tracy’s friend and sperm supplier initially had qualms about being her own personal sperm machine.
‘When I first approached him, he was con- cerned I’d use it to impregnate myself,’ she admits. ‘But once I’d convinced him it was for my beauty regime he agreed – after all, he has a regular supply at hand!’
As for the risks involved? ‘I know he’s healthy, doesn’t smoke, drink or do drugs and I made him have an STI check,’ she says.
‘My other mates think I’m strange, but I don’t give a toss.’
Luckily for Tracy’s pal, she’s keen to find a partner who will take over from him. After three years of being single, she is looking for love.
Her goals? ‘I want a relation- ship where my partner asks if I want one shot or two shots of sperm in my smoothie each morning!’ Don’t we all?
iAV - Antelope Valley Digital Magazine