Page 18 - IAV Digital Magazine #405

The only true FREE CLASSIFIEDS in the Antelope Valley... Where buyers and sellers meet!
Local Schizophrenic Lawyer Sues Self For Fall
By Horatio Bottomley Nevada City, CA
Nevada County is about to make legal history as Fernwood Z. Frischland, Esq., filed a civil suit against himself for a nasty fall he suf- fered in front of his home at 24444 Old Tunnel Road.
The plaintiff claims that his alter personality, named Sarah, has been conspiring against him since mov- ing into the new home and rearranging the fur- niture. “She’s such a [deleted]”, Frischland stated on the courtroom steps after filing the papers.
When asked why he moved, Mr. Frischland admitted he was tired of living in “her” house fol- lowing “her” rules all the time. He also com-
plained that “she” would eat all the middles out of the Oreos.
“There was only one thing to do when your driven to such lengths”, Mr. Frischland reflected. “I had to move and start a new life for myself. Unfortunately, “she”
came along, too. And boy was she pissed. That’s why she tripped me on my driveway.”
As a result of the fall, Mr. Frischland has a dis- placed ego and a frac- tured cuticle, which he claims is preventing him from working and keep-
ing him awake at nights with flatulence.
Sarah was unable to be reached for comment, but Frischland conjec- tured that she made him fall out of spite. “She is such a [deleted]”, he yelled. “Sometimes she would stroke my, you know...ego, at the most inconvenient times, like at the supermarket, or in court, just to make me squirm. It’s time she paid.”
Mr. Frischland is asking for $235.43 in damages and $20 million in pain and suffering. When asked how he expects Sarah to pay him such a large sum, he explained that he could write it off as a loss on his taxes. He also said he would save legal expenses being both his and Sarah’s attorney.
FoRd dIeSel
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00 outlaw chopper
Canary Yellow w/ Purple Flames. Low Miles. 2000 Special construction Outlaw Chopper. Bike valued at $6500.
Priced to Sell $3,900 Includes 2 helmets, gargle, battery tender 661-839-2732 Serious Buyers only Call Rob Anytime
2006 keystone Springdale Travel Trailer Very clean, great condition ! 31 ft, sleeps 8. Lots of storage space. 2 TV outlets, microwave, AM/FM/CD, heater/AC, exte- rior storage closet. $8,000 firm. Jeff 469-734-0281.
2007 Bush hog
2007 Bush Hog 90 CC ATV Electric & kick start, lights Horn & safety tether. In new cond. $900.00 (661) 265-0261
Brush Bandit chipper
Brush Bandit Chipper Model 90 4-Cly. 37 HP Wisconsin Engine (Gas) 1 owner very low hours, a beauty $10,500.00 (661) 265-0261
good cond $3650 • 917- 3383408
81 Honda CM250, show- room cond, low miles $3450 • 917-3383408
Used motorcycle, moped, Go Karts parts, accessories, riding gears, repair manuals for cars, trucks, motorcycles & etc $5-10 • 917-3383408
Progressive suspension fork spring. Not sure what street bike. 20 3/4” long x 1 1/8” wide. Reduces nose dives. Delivers high compression rates $35, new in pkg • 272- 9273 bet 8am-8:30pm376
2007 Bush Hog 90 CC ATV Electric & kick start, lights Horn & safety tether. In new cond. $900 • 265-0261pd
TRAILER, Rv & MOTORHOMES
84 Midas 24’ RV, Ford 429 engine. Set up in RV park $2500 • 992-9078408
Old Toyota RV camper being junked for scrap. Free but you must haulaway in Saugus area • 309-2818408
Utility trailer, 7x6 w/ 13” tires $500 • 760-377-5870405
Homemade trailer, 5x8 $200 • 264-4304405
Classic 1972 Dodge motorhome, 218 engine. Green & white, great body, no accident, low mile tranny, needs little work $600 • 206-5815404
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Trailer w/ tilting flatbed,
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TRUCKS & SUv
87 Chevy Blazer, rebuilt motor, runs, tagged, smogged $900 • 948-9103407
91 Chevy Suburban, 4dr, 4wd, 3/4ton, 140k miles, ac, power window, 2nd owner, good cond $3500firm • 943- 6071403
03 Mazda B2300 good cond $4000 • 210-0103406
vANS
97 Ford Aerostar, selling
406 parts • 522-1832
WAnTEd
Looking for bed & bedroom
4 furnitures • 310-709-128808
Looking for (4) 4x8ft ply- wood siding in good cond • 714-794-7547408
Disable person needs dona- tion of running vehicle • 886-8307408
Looking for used furnitures, must be in good cond • 478- 7580406
Body parts for 1989-94 Geo Metro. Front fender, hood & misc • 822-5793404
Wanted to buy 1000gal drinking water container • 944-4542404
Looking for: Military items from WW 1- WW2, Civil war, Vietnam war, Korea- Afghanistan, Iraq & others • BOB Army & Navy Store, 2100 Mono St., Mojave • 824-3333 behind Denny’s
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CLASSIC
66 Chevy Wagon, no motor & tranny, great body $1800 • 317-5626408
77 Ford 3/4 ton truck, runs good, runs good $800 • 483-7609406
63 Valiant, 2dr, rebuilt 6cyl, body work done $1200 • 483-7609406
60 Valiant wagon, orig 6cyl,
needs restoration $750 • 483-7609406
79 Jaguar, V12, good cond $4000 • 718-9673405
1969 Fisher body service manual $35. Includes every- thing but motor & tranny. Great cond, rare find • 272- 9273 bet 8am-8:30pm only385
HEAvY EqUIPMENT
Brush Bandit Chipper Model 90 4-Cly. 37 HP Wisconsin Engine (Gas), 1 owner very low hours, a beauty $10,500 • 265-0261pd
MOTORCYCLES RECREATIONAL vEHICLES
Kawasaki Mule. runs, older model, needs carburator work $1000 • 878-6607408
84 Suzuki RM250 very good cond $1395 • 917-3383408
83 Yamaha YZ125, very good cond $975 • 917- 3383408
82 Suzuki GS1100E, very
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661-266-4-ADS
ANTELOPE VALLEY FREE CLASSIFIEDS ;
75 Ford club Wagon
Very low mileage, High Performance engine, Runs xlnt. Fold down seat for bed. Tie Downs for motor- cycle, 2 motorcycle ramps, New windshield, New alternator, New Voltage regulator, High Performance muffler & tail pipe sys. am/fm radio. Smog exempt - Barn Find $2,250 661-675-5469