Page 17 - IAV Digital Magazine #460

iAV - Antelope Valley Digital Magazine
“Daddy, I inherited my intelligence from you, didn’t I?”
“That’s right my clever girl!”
“That makes sense, because mommy still has hers.”
Two men are out fishing and they are having great luck. They are catching so fast, they have to go back early.
"This is so great," says the first guy. "We should mark the spot so we can come here again."
"You're right," replies the other guy who then dives over the side and paints a big X on the bottom of the boat.
They head back to shore and just as they're about to dock, the first guy looks at the second and asks, "But what if we don't get the same boat next time?"
A student burst into his professor’s office and says, "Professor Stigler, I don't believe I deserve this 'F' grade that you've given me!"
To which Professor Stigler replied, "I agree, but unfortu-
nately it is the low- est grade the University will allow me to award."
A woman goes to a psychiatrist and says, "Doctor, you've got to do something about my husband. He thinks he's a refrig- erator!"
"I wouldn't worry too much about it," the doctor replies. "Lots of people have harmless delusions. It will pass."
"But you don't understand," the woman insists. "He sleeps with his mouth open, and the little light keeps me awake."
A teenage girl had just been given family-car privi- leges. One Friday night she returned home very late from a party.
The next morning her father went out to the driveway to get the newspaper and came back into the house frown- ing. At 11:30 am the girl sleepily walked into the kitchen, and her father asked her, "What time did you get in last night?"
"Not too late, Dad," she replied nerv- ously.
Dead-panned, her father said, "Then I'll have to talk to the paperboy about putting my paper under the front tire of the car."
Wayne was return- ing home from a business trip, bags in hand, and slowly making his way to his vehicle in the crowded airport garage. Suddenly a large dark car screeched to a stop in front of Wayne, and the driver pointed men- acingly at him. "Get in," the driver ordered. "I'll take you to your car."
Startled, Wayne took a step back- ward. "Ah...no thanks," he answered. "I can get there myself."
"No!" the man barked back as he threw open his passenger side door. "Get in!"
Wayne's eyes now darted around the garage, hoping to find a security guard.
Just then, the dri- ver's face softened. "Please," he said, "I've been driving up and down for two hours. I can't find a space to park, and I want yours."
Why Are Two Naked Women CoveredinJamSittingOna BenchOnMarket Street?
This is the moment two naked women apparently cov- ered in jam sat on a bench in the middle
of Manchester city centre .
Bewildered shop- pers stopped to watch the spec- tacle as it unfold- ed on Market Street just before midday on Wednesday (October 10).
A crowd formed around the two women, who sat on a bench out- side Barclays bank in the mid- dle of the busy shopping street.
Video footage show the women covered head to toe in a red sub- stance sitting
side by side.
Other images show them cov- ering themselves in white sheets as two police offi- cers speak to them.
One onlooker told the M.E.N that the two women appeared to be covered in what looked like some kind of red jam.
He said: "They looked like they were rubbing strawberry jam on each other."
Confused onlookers took to Twitter to try and find out who and why they were there.
Issy Thwaite wrote: "Why on earth have I just
seen two girls completely naked COVERED IN JAM sat on a bench in the mid- dle of Manchester wip- ing bread off each other and eating it"
While @jacxhhhh commented: "Not every day u see two naked women rubbing jam over them- selves in market street yeah."
A Greater Manchester Police spokesper son said officers are 'looking into' the incident.
They added: "Officers were called to Market Street following reports of two naked women sat on a bench covered in jam."
iAV - Antelope Valley Digital Magazine