Page 17 - IAV Digital Magazine #495

iAV - Antelope Valley Digital Magazine
Boss - Do you think you can come in on Saturday? I know you enjoy your weekends but I need you here.
Me - Yeah, no problem. I'll prob- ably be late though as public transport on weekends is slow.
Boss - What time will you get here?
Me - Monday.
A customer is having a conver- sation with a bank receptionist.
Customer: "I want to have a chat with my financial advisor."
Receptionist: "Unfortunately, he is not here."
Customer: "I think I saw him through the window."
Receptionist: "He may have seen you first."
In my Sunday school class the focus was mar- riage or divorce, "The rapidly increasing divorce rate," remarked one member of
the group, "indi- cates that America is indeed becoming the land of the free."
"Yes," replied the prosaic friend, "but the continued marriage rate suggests that America is still the home of the brave."
Husband: “Call 911 quick, I think I’m having a heart attack!“
The wife picked up his cell phone to call. She said, “Give me your password!”
Husband: "Never mind, I’m feeling much better now."
Torrential rain- storms were knocking down power lines all over town. That meant, as a cus- tomer service rep for the electric company, I was dispatching repairmen right and left.
When one line- man called a cus- tomer to get her exact address, he was told, "I'm at Post Office Box 99."
The weary line- man replied, "Ma'am, I'll be coming to you in a truck, not an envelope."
A man goes to the doctor with a swollen foot. After a careful exami- nation, the doctor gives the man a pill big enough to choke a horse.
"I'll be right back with some water," the doctor tells him.
The doctor has been gone a while and the man loses patience. He hob- bles out to the drinking fountain, forces the pill down his throat and gobbles down water until the pill clears his throat. He hob- bles back into the examining room.
Just then the doc- tor comes back with a bucket of warm water, "Okay, after the tablet dissolves, soak that foot for about 20 min- utes."
Waters Turn Red – But It’s Not Biblical
A recent tweet created a small frenzy on the internet for a while. The Etobicoke Creek in Canada had red water flowing in it and the video captured by hikers was quite dramatic.
The responses immediately warned people of end times and tied in recent events to create Biblical prophecy theories.
However it turns out this red water was a
result of 400 liters of red dye / ink that had spilt into the creek from a company. Peel Public Works clarified about this in a tweet.
At this time of an unfathomable health related pandemic, peo- ple are definitely very uncertain and every event and news is being analyzed in various ways. Be careful and exercise caution.
-Update- Peel Public
Works provided an update Wednesday, say- ing the red ink came from a company in North Mississauga.
“An accident occurred at a factory and the ink spilled,” the agency said. “The creek was checked and there were no dead fish or other wildlife seen by either Peel staff, Ministry of Environment or Conservation and Parks staff.”
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