Page 17 - IAV Digital Magazine #514

iAV - Antelope Valley Digital Magazine
I met an older woman at a bar last night. She looked pretty good for a 60- year- old. In fact, she wasn’t too bad at all, and I found myself thinking she prob- ably had a really hot daughter.
We drank a cou- ple of beers, and she asked if I had ever had a Sportman’s Double? What’s that? I asked. It’s mother and daughter three- some, she said. As my mind began to embrace the idea, and I wondered what her daughter might look like, I said, “No I haven’t.”
We drank a bit more, then she said with a wink, “tonight’s your lucky night.” We went back to her place. We walked in. She put on the hall light and shouted upstairs: “Mom, you still awake?”
I went to a book- store and asked the saleswoman,
“Where’s the self- help section?” She said, if she told me me, it would defeat the purpose.
A fisherman from the city was out fishing on a lake in a small boat. He noticed anoth- er man in a small boat open his tackle box and take out a mirror.
Being curious, the man rowed over and asked, "What is the mirror for?"
"That's my secret way to catch fish," said the other man. "Shine the mirror on the top of the water. The fish notice the spot of sun on the water above and they swim to the surface. Then I just reach down and net them and pull them into the boat."
"Wow! Does that really work?"
"You bet it does."
"Would you be interested in sell- ing that mirror? I'll give you $30 for it."
"Well, okay."
After the money was transferred, the city fisherman asked, "By the way, how many fish have you caught this week?"
"You're the sixth," he said.
Three years after the honeymoon it appears their puppy love had matured.
"You don't love me any more," she sobbed. "You use to be so nice to me, and now you are always barking and growling."
"What do you expect," he demanded. "You've always got me in the doghouse."
My wife asked me, “Why don’t you treat me like you did when we were first dat- ing!?”
So I took her to dinner and a movie then dropped her off at her parents’ house.
Aurora Mayor Mike Coffman Poses As Homeless For A Week
By HANNAH METZGER han- nah.metzger@ga zette.com
In an attempt to gain insight into the city’s most vulnerable, Aurora Mayor Mike Coffman lived on the streets in secret for a week, CBS Denver reported Tuesday.
A spokesman for the mayor's office confirmed Coffman stayed on the streets of Aurora and Denver for seven
days and nights. He did not accept any donated food or money during the experiment.
In this time, Coffman only revealed what he was doing to CBS Denver reporter Shaun Boyd. The televi- sion
station broadcast the report on the mayor's experi- ence at 10 p.m. Tuesday.
Promotional video for the broadcast
showed the 65- year-old former congressman, living out of his backpack, bed- ding down under a tarp on the sidewalk at the edge of home- less encamp- ment.
Although the mayor’s office confirmed Coffman's partici- pation, the mayor would not com- ment on the experiment until after the broad- cast.
iAV - Antelope Valley Digital Magazine