Page 17 - IAV Digital Edition #380

The only true FREE CLASSIFIEDS in the Antelope Valley... Where buyers and sellers meet!
Lake LA: 2.5 acres $29,900 • 661-944-7171
2+acres - 70th west & Ave. D4 $64,000; 2.5acres - 70th west & Ave D8 $47,250; 9+acres - Corner of Phillips & Neuralia Rd $49,500 • 942-8894bs
Mojave: 17acres, agriculture on Hwy 58, flat, surveyed (4Lots). Power in front $100,000 • 824-3333
3acres on Hwy 58. R1, flat w/ electric $48,000 • 824- 3333257
For sale: N. Edwards: 2.5 acres commercial land w/ 60’ Mobile Home, 2wells, 3,000sqft commercial bldg $299K • 824-3333
Over 200 houses & con- dos in the antelope Valley. Bargain Prices. These are bank owned, short pay, foreclosures. call us today. ask for Tamara Stoebe 466-6849 or Betty at 661- 944-7171
MOBILE HOME
For Rent: Phelan, 2+1, sin- gle wide, 2 acres, Clean & quiet. Single senior $500 • 714-794-7547382
For Rent: Mobile or Trailer. $350/mo. 8262 E. Ave U,
Littlerock • 733-6595 379
For Sale: Commercial zoned. 2.5acres w/ mobile home & 3000sqft metal bldg in No. Edwards $100,000 • 824-3333336
STORAgE/
S P A C E
Parking space for rent or for gardening to plant vegeta- bles or???. 5acres on Littlerock on 82nd Ave & Ave U • 733-6595376
SEcuRE mInI STORagE. $1 moves you in. Selected sizes. Call for details 24hrs Security, Private PO Boxes, No Deposit Required. Units 10’-12’ high not 8’ 661-947-5400 37560 Sierra Hwy Palmdale
VACATIOn
PROPERTy
Polo Towers timeshare in Las Vegas. Across from City Center & Bellagio. Very lux- urious accomodation. 1br/1ba. Deeded, annual usage. Thanksgiving week but floating & days can be divided if you want to go some other time. Strong exchange power. Fraction of developer’s price. Must sell! reduced to $3995, very motivated seller • 944-7171
SPORTinG
GOOdS
Rally sports bike $40 • 266-
1947 382
Motorized scooter, needs
battery $150 • 266-1947 382
Portable massage table, assembled once, never used. Has cover & carrying case. $50 • 266-0368383
Speed bag mount. All metal frame, new paint $38 • 272- 9273 bet 8am-8:30pm376
Used helmet for hockey or football w/ full face guard $15 • 272-9273 bet 8:30am-
PaLmDaLE InTERnaTIOnaL SHOPPIng maLL 2520 E. Palmdale Bl Near Von’s & Burger King Hours: Mon, Wed, Thurs: 11am-8pm Fri-Sat: 11am-8pm Sun: 11am-6pm Tues: Close 267-6700
VEHiClES
ACCESSORIES
Hood for 67 Chevy pick up $50 • 824-4436382
60’s cylinder heads. 327/350 $100/pr • 400-
6914
382
67 Mustang hood w/ lights, 2 front seats, steering wheels & many accessories • 723-5694382
Engine stand, 750lbs capacity. Good cond $30 • 818-299-1416382
Older Chevy heads fuel engines. $100/pr • 400-
6914 382
73 Cadillac Eldorado radio, xlnt cond. 8 track am/fm, $60 • 943-6071381
2 Brand new car light in box for Chevy sprint • 271-7264381
Old tire on wheel $10 • 943- 3422380
20” Chrome rims & tires, 5 universal lugs $350 • 323- 381-5302379
Engine 5.7L & tranny for 98 Dodge Dakota 2500. $500 for all • 874-9658379
Camper shell for 98 Dodge Dakota, good cond $125 • 575-7994379
Set of 4 tires on 16” Lexus aluminum rims, xlnt cond $200 • 264-3928378
Parting out: 87 Toyota Odessey RV. Heavy duty auto tranny, 19k orig miles, you remove $300 • 309-
2818 378
Drawtite tow hitch. Off of 1989 Ford F250, good cond $100 • 818-299-1416378
Fred lost one of his arms in an accident. He became very depressed because he had loved to play golf.
One day in despair he decided to commit sui- cide.
Hetookalifttothetopof a very tall building, intending to jump off. He was standing on the ledge looking down when on the pavement far below he saw a man skipping along, whistling and kicking up his heels.
Fred looked more closely and saw that the man had no arms at all. He started thinking: what am I doing up here feeling sorry for myself? I still have one good arm to do things with. There goes a man with no arms, skip- ping down the pavement, perfectly happy, getting on with his life.
He hurried down and caught up with the man with no arms. He told him how glad he was to see him because he had lost one of his arms and felt ugly and useless and had been going to kill himself.
"You saved my life. If you can go on with no arms, I can make it with one!"
The man with no arms began dancing and whistling and kicking up his heels again. Fred asked, "Why are you so happy, anyway?" "I'm not happy," replied the man. "My balls itch.”
A man has to leave the country on business and he entrusts with his best
friend the job of keeping an eye on his wife. If anything out of the ordi- nary should occur, he was to be notified imme- diately.
After about a week of no news the business man received a telegram: "The man who comes to visit your wife every night didn't show up yester- day..."
When Bill and Hillary first got married Bill said, "I put a box under the bed. Promise me you will never to look in it." In all their 30 years of mar- riage, Hillary never looked. On the afternoon of their 30th anniversary, curiosity got the best of her and she lifted the lid and peeked inside. In it were 3 empty beer cans and $81,874.25 in cash.
She closed the box and put it back under the bed. Now that she knew what was in the box, she was doubly curious as to why there was such a box and with those con- tents. That evening, they were out for a special anniversary dinner. After dinner, Hillary could no longer contain her curiosity and she con- fessed, saying, “I'm so sorry, Bill. For all these years, I kept my promise and never looked into the box under our bed. However, today the temptation was too much andIgavein.ButnowI need to know, why do you keep the 3 beer cans in the box?”
Bill thought for a while and said, "I guess after all these years you deserve to know the
truth. Whenever I was unfaithful to you, I put an empty beer can in the box under the bed to remind myself not to do it again.” Hillary was shocked, but thought, "Hmmm, Jennifer, Paula and Monica. And since I know he is addicted to sex, three times is not too bad.”
She said, ”OK Bill, I guess I can forgive you.” Bill thanked her for being so understanding. They hugged and made their peace. A little while later Hillary asked Bill, "So why do you have all that money in the box?”
He answered, "Well, whenever the box filled up with empty cans, I took them to the recy- cling center."
The father of five chil- drenhadwonatoyata raffle. He called his kids together to ask which one should have the present.
"Who is the most obedi- ent?" he asked. "Who never talks back to moth- er? Who does everything she says?"
Five small voices answered in unison. "Okay, daddy, you get the toy."
My wife just called me.
She said, "Three of the girls in the office have just received some flow- ers for Valentines Day. They are absolutely gor- geous."
I said, "Well that's proba- bly why they've received flowers then."
mOBILE HOmE FOR SaLE! Double wide. 24x65, Aluminum sidings, 2+2, den. New ref range dishwasher, 2 cooler w/ Aircon in the kitchen. Includes all furni- tures, Fixtures, TV, appliances & others MUST SEE! 661-256-0868 serious inquiry !!!
8:30pm only
373
HOUSE
FOR SALE
Lancaster: 3+2, fenced yard, automatic sprinkler, auto garage door. Ceramic tiles throughout. Patio, gran- ite countertops, stainless steel sink, new appliances, upgraded baths, must see! $172,000 • 944-7171
Over 200 houses & con- dos in the antelope Valley. Bargain prices. These are bank owned, short pay, foreclosures. call us today. ask for Tony austin 661-722-5255 or Betty at 661-944-7171
L A n D
2 Cemetery lots. Joshua Tree Memorial park $2000 each • 341-8367382
Cal City: Commercial lot. Near 92nd & Redwood
$16500 • 947-8566 380
California City: Residential lot $14,900 • 944-7171
SWAP mEET
LancaSTER mInI-maLL
44236 10th Street West Lancaster, CA 93534 (Bet Ave J & Ave J4) Mon-Wed-Thurs 10am-7pm
Fri-Sat: 10am-8pm Sun: 10am-6pm Tues: Closed 661-337-9279
16
661-266-4-ADS
ANTELOPE VALLEY FREE CLASSIFIEDS ;