Page 15 - IAV Digital Magazine

The only true FREE CLASSIFIEDS in the Antelope Valley... Where buyers and sellers meet!
482-0875382
W. Palmdale: $500/mo. Share all amenities, no drugs • 274-2141382
E. Lancaster: Private room. $400/mo + 1/3 utilities. Security deposit & refer- ences required. No smok- ing, drugs or pet • 483- 4529381
Elderly female looking for roommate to share a home, help for upkeep & expens- es. Must love animals. No drugs or alcohol • 264- 3770381
Palmdale: Furnished, pd utilities, near shops. No pet & drugs $385/mo • 274- 0235380
Rancho Vista: Near 15st west. Beautiful & quiet home. Large room, 2 bath. Pd utilities. Cable, internet, kitchen privileges. Close to mall, frwy & school. No drugs, alcohol & pet. No Security or deposit $500 • 450-5541379
W. Lancaster: $500+$100dep. Pd utilities. Masterbedroom w/ private bath, walk-in closet, fur- nished, full privileges.
Internet, pool & jacuzzi. No pets, smoking or drugs • 718-2020380
Cal City: $350/mo, pd utili- ties • 760-848-3549378
Palmdale: Private bath, full house privileges, pool & jacuzzi $285 • 268-2410378
Littlerock: 82nd & Ave U. 3+2, fireplace, living & din- ing room, approx 1700sqft, single story. Credit & income check $1,150 • 733- 6595376
HOUSE
Real Estate Humor
Landlord
A property manager for an apartment com- plex dies and soon finds himself standing in front of St. Peter. St. Peter tells him "You have a choice of going to heaven or to hell and I suggest you check them both out before deciding."
So he chooses to check out hell first. He goes down to hell and finds himself in the middle of the biggest party he has ever seen. People are dancing and drinking and doing the limbo (and nobody's doing the Macarena!). Everyone is laughing and having a great time.
Next St. Peter takes him up to heaven to look around. Everything is white and pristine. People are speaking softly about philosophy and mathematical formu- las. Others are simply contemplative and serene. He's bored in
about five minutes.
St. Peter then says to the apartment manag- er, "I want you to sleep on it and meet me back here in the morning to let me know your decision." The next morning he comes back and says to St. Peter, "Heaven is very nice and all, but hell looks great, so I've decided that I want to go to hell".
So St. Peter puts him on the escalator down to hell. When he gets there he sees Satan whipping people and there's fire everywhere and everyone is screaming in pain.
So he goes over to Satan and says "Hey, what gives here? Yesterday I came here to check the place out and everyone had me partying and it looked like a great time. What happened?" Satan looks at him and says "You used to be a property manager so you ought to know the
answer to your own question.
Yesterday you were a prospect. Today you're just another resident!"
Three Professionals A doctor, a lawyer and a real estate agent were discussing the relative merits of hav- ing a wife or a mis- tress.
The lawyer says: "For sure a mistress is bet- ter. If you have a wife and want a divorce, it causes all sorts of legal problems."
The doctor says: "It's better to have a wife because the sense of security lowers your stress and is good for your health."
The real estate agent says: "You're both wrong. It's best to have both so that when the wife thinks you're with the mis- tress and the mistress thinks you're with your wife -- you can go and sell some homes.
ANTELOPE VALLEY FREE CLASSIFIEDS
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