Page 16 - IAV Digital Magazine

The only true FREE CLASSIFIEDS in the Antelope Valley... Where buyers and sellers meet!
A man absolutely hated his wife’s cat and decid- ed to get rid of him one day by driving him 20 blocks from his home and leaving him at the park.
As he was getting home, the cat was walking up the driveway.
The next day he decided to drive the cat 40 blocks away. He put the beast out and headed home.
Driving back up his drive- way, there was the cat!
He kept taking the cat further and further and the cat would always beat him home. At last he decided to drive a few miles away, turn right, then left, past the bridge, then right again and another right until he reached what he thought was a safe distance from his home and left the cat there.
Hours later the man calls home to his wife: “Jen, is the cat there?”
“Yes”, the wife answers, “Why do you ask?”
Frustrated, the man answered, “Put him on the phone. I’m lost and need directions!!!”
The poor country pastor was livid when he con- fronted his wife with the receipt for a $250 dress she had bought. “How could you do this!” he exclaimed.
“I don’t know,” she wailed, “I was standing in the store looking at the dress. Then I found myself trying it on. It was
like the Devil was whis- pering to me, ‘Gee, you look great in that dress. You should buy it.’”
“Well,” the pastor persist- ed, “You know how to deal with him! Just tell him, “Get behind me, Satan!”
“I did,” replied his wife, “but then he said “It looks great from back here, too!”
Broken Engagement Dear Marty, I have been unable to sleep since I broke off your engagement to my daughter. Will you forgive and forget?
I was much too sensitive about your Mohawk, tat- too and pierced nose. I now realize motorcycles aren’t really that danger- ous, and I really should not have reacted that way to the fact that you have never held a job.
I am also very sure that some other very nice people live under the bridge in the park, too. Sure my daughter is only 18 and wants to marry you instead of going to Harvard on full scholar- ship. After all, you can’t learn everything about life from books.
I sometimes forget how backward I can be. I was wrong. I was a fool. I have now come to my senses and you have my full blessing to marry my daughter.
Sincerely, Your future father-in-law.
P.S. Congratulations on winning the Powerball
Lottery Jackpot.
Two ladies talking in heaven. 1st woman: Hi! My name is Wanda.
2nd woman: Hi! I'm Kelly. How'd you die?
1st woman: I Froze to Death.
2nd woman: How Horrible!
1st woman: It wasn't so bad. After I quit shaking from the cold, I began to get warm and sleepy, and finally died a peace- ful death. What about you?
2nd woman: I died of a massive heart attack. I suspected that my hus- band was cheating, so I came home early to catch him in the act. But instead, I found him all by himself in the den watching TV.
1st woman: So, what happened?
2nd woman: I was so sure there was another woman there somewhere that I started running all over the house looking. I ran up into the attic and searched, and down into the basement. Then I went through every clos- et and checked under all the beds. I kept this up until I had looked every- where, and finally I became so exhausted that I just keeled over with a heart attack and died.
1st woman: Too bad you didn't look in the freezer. We'd both still be alive.
Mojave: 17acres, agriculture on Hwy 58, flat, surveyed (4Lots). Power in front $100,000 • 824-3333
3acres on Hwy 58. R1, flat w/ electric $48,000 • 824-
257 3333
For sale: N. Edwards: 2.5 acres commercial land w/ 60’ Mobile Home, 2wells, 3,000sqft commercial bldg $299K • 824-3333
Over 200 houses & con- dos in the antelope Valley. Bargain Prices. These are bank owned, short pay, foreclosures. call us today. ask for Tamara Stoebe 466-6849 or Betty at 661- 944-7171
MOBILE HOME
For Rent: Mobile or Trailer. $350/mo. 8262 E. Ave U,
Littlerock • 733-6595 379
For Sale: 1988 newly remodeled mobile home, double wide, 3+2, hardwood floors, marble kitchen, ceramic tiles. Space rent $450/mo. $35,000 • 789- 8729378
For sale: 2+1, $7000 • 944- 4729378
For Sale: Commercial zoned. 2.5acres w/ mobile home & 3000sqft metal bldg in No. Edwards $100,000 • 824-3333336
Required. Units 10’-12’ high not 8’ 661-947-5400 37560 Sierra Hwy Palmdale
VACATIOn PROPERTy
Polo Towers timeshare in Las Vegas. Across from City Center & Bellagio. Very lux- urious accomodation. 1br/1ba. Deeded, annual usage. Thanksgiving week but floating & days can be divided if you want to go some other time. Strong exchange power. Fraction of developer’s price. Must sell! reduced to $3995, very motivated seller • 944-7171
Sundays 6am - 4pm 5505 Pearblossom Hwy •
Palmdale
(661)273-0456
VEHiClES
ACCESSORIES
60’s cylinder heads. 327/350 $100/pr • 400-
6914
382
67 Mustang hood w/ lights, 2 front seats, steering wheels & many accessories • 723-5694382
Engine stand, 750lbs capacity. Good cond $30 • 818-299-1416382
Older Chevy heads fuel engines. $100/pr • 400- 6914382
73 Cadillac Eldorado radio, xlnt cond. 8 track am/fm, $60 • 943-6071381
2 Brand new car light in box for Chevy sprint • 271-7264381
Old tire on wheel $10 • 943- 3422380
20” Chrome rims & tires, 5 universal lugs $350 • 323- 381-5302379
Engine 5.7L & tranny for 98 Dodge Dakota 2500. $500 for all • 874-9658379
Camper shell for 98 Dodge Dakota, good cond $125 • 575-7994379
Set of 4 tires on 16” Lexus aluminum rims, xlnt cond $200 • 264-3928378
Parting out: 87 Toyota Odessey RV. Heavy duty auto tranny, 19k orig miles, you remove $300 • 309- 2818378
Drawtite tow hitch. Off of 1989 Ford F250, good cond $100 • 818-299-1416378
New super ride all season tire. 1” white wall P185/80R/13 $35 • 818-
SPORTinG
GOOdS
Portable massage table, assembled once, never used. Has cover & carrying case. $50 • 266-0368383
MX boots. O’Neal M10, size 10, new in box. Pd $150; sell $75 • 722-5978378
Power X men’s bike. 26’ tires, 18spd. Maroon & grey, almost new $80 • 818-299- 1416378
Speed bag mount. All metal frame, new paint $38 • 272- 9273 bet 8am-8:30pm376
Used helmet for hockey or football w/ full face guard $15 • 272-9273 bet 8:30am- 8:30pm only373
SWAP mEET
LancaSTER mInI-maLL
44236 10th Street West Lancaster, CA 93534 (Bet Ave J & Ave J4) Mon-Wed-Thurs 10am-7pm
Fri-Sat: 10am-8pm Sun: 10am-6pm Tues: Closed 661-337-9279
PaLmDaLE InTERnaTIOnaL SHOPPIng maLL 2520 E. Palmdale Bl Near Von’s & Burger King Hours: Mon, Wed, Thurs:
299-1416
378
mOBILE HOmE FOR SaLE! Double wide. 24x65, Aluminum sidings, 2+2, den. New ref range dishwasher, 2 cooler w/ Aircon in the kitchen. Includes all furni- tures, Fixtures, TV, appliances & others MUST SEE! 661-256-0868 serious inquiry !!!
FOR SALE
Lancaster: 3+2, fenced yard, automatic sprinkler, auto garage door. Ceramic tiles throughout. Patio, gran- ite countertops, stainless steel sink, new appliances, upgraded baths, must see! $172,000 • 944-7171
Over 200 houses & con- dos in the antelope Valley. Bargain prices. These are bank owned, short pay,
foreclosures. call us today. ask for Tony austin 661-722-5255 or Betty at 661-944-7171
STORAgE/ 11am-8pm Fri-Sat: 11am-8pm
Sun: 11am-6pm Tues: Close 267-6700
anTELOPE VaLLEy SWaP mEET aT FOuR POInTS antelope Valleys’ #1 Open air market. Serving AV for 25 years Hours: Saturdays 7am- 4pm;
Summit High tire. 195/60R/15 on rim for Honda $70 • 818-299-1416378
New Goodyear tire. 1” white wall on rim P235/75R/15
$70 • 818-299-1416 Camper shell for 8’ truck
bed • 948-5190 378
LAnD
Cal City: Commercial lot. Near 92nd & Redwood
Parking space for rent or for gardening to plant vegeta- bles or???. 5acres on Littlerock on 82nd Ave &
Ave U • 733-6595 376
SEcuRE mInI STORagE. $1 moves you in. Selected sizes. Call for details 24hrs Security, Private PO Boxes, No Deposit
$16500 • 947-8566
380
Lake Hughes: Up slope, 50’x132’. All utilities, paved road $5000 • 360-286-2481
378
California City: Residential lot $14,900 • 944-7171
Lake LA: 2.5 acres $29,900 • 661-944-7171
2+acres - 70th west & Ave. D4 $64,000; 2.5acres - 70th west & Ave D8 $47,250; 9+acres - Corner of Phillips & Neuralia Rd
$49,500 • 942-8894 bs
S P A C E
378
New camper shell, used
twice $75 • 208-5555 378
2 tires: 205/60R/15
$25/each • 400-6914 378
Set of 4 truck tires & wheels. Fits any 5 lugs. 95% tread left. Great cond
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661-266-4-ADS
ANTELOPE VALLEY FREE CLASSIFIEDS ;