Page 16 - IAV Digital Magazine #378

The only true FREE CLASSIFIEDS in the Antelope Valley... Where buyers and sellers meet!
utilities • 562-208-9371377
Palmdale: Single working person. No smoking & pet. $425+ $100dep. Utilities pd,
377 wifi • 818-402-7676
Littlerock: 82nd & Ave U. 3+2, fireplace, living & din- ing room, approx 1700sqft, single story. Credit & income check $1,150 • 733- 6595376
HOUSE
FOR SALE
Lancaster: 3+2, fenced yard, automatic sprinkler, auto garage door. Ceramic tiles throughout. Patio, granite countertops, stain- less steel sink, new appli- ances, upgraded baths, must see! $174,000 • 944- 7171
Over 200 houses & con- dos in the antelope Valley. bargain prices. These are bank owned, short pay, foreclosures. call us today. ask for
Tony austin 661-722-5255 or betty at 661-944-7171
L A n D
Cal City: Commercial lot. Near 92nd & Redwood $16500 • 947-8566380
Lake Hughes: Up slope, 50’x132’. All utilities, paved road $5000 • 360-286- 2481378
California City: Residential lot $14,900 • 944-7171
Lake LA: 2.5 acres $29,900 • 661-944-7171
Real Estate Humor
A crusty old man walks into a real estate office and says to an female agent,
“I want to sell my G-d damn house.”
To which the astonished female agent replies, “I beg your pardon, sir; I must have misun- derstood you. What did you say?”
“Listen up, damn it. I said I want to sell my fucking house!”
“I’m very sorry sir, but we do not tolerate that kind of language in this office.”
So saying, the agent goes over to the officer broker to tell him about her situation. They both return and the broker asks the old geezer, “What seems tobe the problem here?”
“There’s no damn prob- lem,” the man says, “I want to sell my fucking million dollar home.”
“I see,” says the manag-
er, “and this bitch is giv- ing you a hard time?”
A doctor vacationing on the Riviera met an old lawyer friend and asked him what he was doing there.
The lawyer replied, “Remember that lousy real estate I bought? Well, it caught fire, so here I am with the fire insurance proceeds. What are you doing here?”
The doctor replied, “Remember that lousy real estate I had in Mississippi? Well, the river overflowed, and here I am with the flood insurance proceeds.”
The lawyer looked puz- zled. “Gee,” he asked, “how did you start the flood?”
An agent who was being paid by the week approached his office manager and held up his last paycheck. ‘This is two hundred dollars less than we agreed on,’ he said. ‘I know,’ the man-
ager said.
‘But last week I overpaid you two hundred dollars, and you never com- plained.’
‘Well, I don’t mind an occasional mistake,’ the agent answered, ‘but whenitgetstobea habit, I feel I have to call it to your attention.’
The homeowner got into his grubbiest clothes on Saturday morning and set about all the chores he’d been putting off for weeks.
He’d cleaned the garage, pruned the hedge, and was halfway through mowing the lawn when a woman pulled up in the driveway and yelled out her window, “Say, what do you charge for yard work?”
The fellow thought for a minute, then answered, “The lady who lives here, lets me sleep with her.”
ANTELOPE VALLEY FREE CLASSIFIEDS
661-266-4-ADS
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