Page 17 - IAV Digital Magazine #481

iAV - Antelope Valley Digital Magazine
A very old man and a young woman, who had never met before, found themselves assigned to the same sleeping room on a transcontinental train.
Though initially embarrassed and uneasy over shar- ing a room, the two retired and fell asleep quickly, he in the upper bunk and she in the lower.
At 1:00 a.m., he leans over and gently wakes the woman saying, “I’m sorry to both- er you, but would you be willing to reach into the cupboard to get me a second blanket? I’m awfully cold.”
“I have a better idea,” she replies. “Just for tonight, let’s pretend that we’re married.”
“Wow! That’s a great idea!!” he exclaims.
“Good,” she replies. “Go get your own damned blanket!”
A mild-mannered man was tired of being bossed around by his wife so he went to a
psychiatrist.
The psychiatrist said he needed to build his self- esteem, and so gave him a book on assertiveness, which he read on the way home.
He had finished the book by the time he reached his house.
The man stormed into the house and walked up to his wife.
Pointing a finger in her face, he said, “From now on, I want you to know that I am the man of this house, and my word is law! I want you to pre- pare me a gour- met meal tonight, and when I’m fin- ished eating my meal, I expect a sumptuous dessert afterward. Then, after din- ner, you’re going to draw me my bath so I can relax. And when I’m finished with my bath, guess who’s going to dress me and comb my hair?”
“The funeral director,” said his wife.
Wife: What are your plans for
Easter?
Husband: Same as Jesus...
Wife: What do you mean?
Husband: I will disappear on Friday and reap- pear on Monday!
On hearing that the wife retorts, “AWESOME, you do that, I’ll do a Mary and show up pregnant untouched by my husband.”
The man stayed home.
After a long, dry sermon, the min- ister announced that he wished to meet with the church board after the service. The first man to arrive was a stranger.
“You misunder- stood my announcement. This is a meeting of the board of the church,” said the minister.
“That is why I am here,” said the man. “If there is anyone here today more bored than I am, I’d like to meet him or her.”
Teen Couldn’t Get A Date For Prom, He Took His Cat!
by Josh Smith
There are many moments we might be looking for worth to in our academic career. Prom is most likely at the top of the list. Finding a prom date is probably the most stress- ful step in the process since it basically choos- ing someone to share one of your most remembered night.
Sam Steingard didn’t have much luck in finding a partner for his
prom dance, so he took a strange and bizarre route, and it took the internet by storm.
No, he didn’t take his mother, grandmother or his sister. He took his cat!
His mother even made an outfit for his compan- ion. It hart to not say that they are so cute together.
The family found Ruby 10 years ago, behind a Ruby Tuesday’s restaurant; and
that’s where she got the name from.
She’s affection- ate and enjoys hanging around people but par- ticularly loves the people in her family. She also tends to say hello to the neighbors.
The original pic- ture
on Imgur was shared millions of time around the internet. It made the couple go viral and turn them to celebri- ties.
iAV - Antelope Valley Digital Magazine