Page 17 - IAV Digital Magazine #414

The only true FREE CLASSIFIEDS in the Antelope Valley... Where buyers and sellers meet!
Making A Difference
AThanksgivingRemembrance
Submitted by Anonymous
My paternal grandmoth- er lived with us. She would sit in the porch swing and I would stand behind her and brush her beautiful long gray hair. As I brushed her hair she would tell me her two favorite stories from the Bible. The only thing better was when she would have me snuggle up close to her in the swing as she read to me. As I child, I sur- mised that they were just good stories but now as a mother and grandmother I realize she had an ulterior motive - she was teach- ing me a most valuable lesson - a lesson about kindness and thankful- ness.
She often added to the story of the Good Samaritan, "You never pass someone in need even if their skin is not the color of yours." And, "You should never pick and choose who you will be kind to, you just be kind," she would enu- merate over and over.
This same instruction came with Manners and Etiquette. "Know what to do and do it. If you do the same right thing often enough it will become second nature to you." "That way," she would instruct, "You will always know what to do and feel confident doing it."
Sounded complicated asachildbutasIgrew older I realized what I did automatically, others my age struggled with.
This tutoring soon gave me the understanding that the Kindness les- sons and the Manners lessons were synony- mous. They both really were practicing the Golden Rule. Which is simply put, "Treat oth- ers, as you want to be treated and never forget any kindness extended to you."
I also learned as a child growing up that my mother always had a slip of paper fastened to the inside of a cabinet door in the kitchen. It was near the sink where mother was more apt to see it. At the top of the page were written the words, "Lest I forget."
There was never a kind- ness extended to her or our family that was not found listed on her paper. In November of each year she would in some way once again let the person or per- sons involved know how grateful she was for their kindness. Mother often quoted the reminder to us, "Don't remember the kindness you do for another, but never forget kindness done for you."
I am reminded even more of the lessons learned as a child and even some days I find myself missing that spot on grandma's lap and the peace that came with her loving arms around me.
may we each give thanks and remember all kindness given to us.
A brand new store has just opened in New York City that sells Husbands.
When women go to choose a husband, they have to follow the instructions at the entrance:
"You may visit this store ONLY ONCE!" There are 6 floors and the value of the products increase as you ascend the flights. You may choose any item from a particular floor, or may choose to go up to the next floor, but you CANNOT go back down except to exit the building! So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband.
On the 1st floor the sign on the door reads:
Floor 1 - These men have jobs. The 2nd floor sign reads:
Floor 2 - These men Have Jobs and Love Kids. The 3rd floor sign reads:
Floor 3 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids and are extremely good looking.
"Wow," she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.
She goes to the 4th floor and the sign reads:
Floor 4 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Good Looking and Help with Housework.
"Oh, mercy me!" she exclaims, "I can hardly stand it!"
Still, she goes to the 5th floor and sign reads:
Floor 5 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Gorgeous, help with Housework and Have A Strong Romantic Streak. She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the 6th floor and the sign reads:
Floor 6 - You are visitor 31,456,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists
solely as proof that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store.
To avoid gender bias charges, the store's owner opens a New Wives store just across the street.
The 1st floor has wives that love sex.
The 2nd floor has wives that love sex and have money.
The 3rd through 6th floors have never been visited.
A man realized he need- ed to purchase a hearing aid, but didn't want to spend a lot of money. "How much do they cost?" he asked the salesman.
"Anything from $2 to $2,000."
"Can I see the $2 model?" said the cus- tomer.
The salesman put the device around the man's neck, and said: "You just stick this button in your ear and run this little string down into your pocket."
"How does it work?" asked the customer.
"For $2, it doesn't work," said the salesman. "But when people see it on you, they'll talk louder."
A woman and a baby were in the doctor's examining room, waiting for the doctor to come in for the baby's first exam.
The doctor arrived, and examined the baby, checked his weight, and being a little concerned, asked if the baby was breast-fed or bottle-fed?
"Breast-fed,"she replied.
"Well, strip down to your waist," the doctor ordered. She did.
He pinched her nipples, pressed, kneaded, and rubbed both breasts for a while in a very profes-
sional and detailed examination.
Motioning to her to get dressed The doctor said, "No wonder this baby is underweight. You don't have any milk. "
"I know," she said, "I'm his Grandma, but I'm glad I came .
A little old lady was walk- ing down the street drag- ging two large plastic garbage bags behind her. One of the bags was ripped and every once in a while a $20 fell out onto the sidewalk.
Noticing this, a police- man stopped her, and said, "Ma'am, there are $20 bills falling out of that bag."
"Oh really? Darn it!" said the little old lady. "I'd bet- tergobackandseeifI can find them. Thanks for telling me officer."
"Well, now, not so fast," said the cop. "Where did you get all that money? You didn't steal it, did you?"
"Oh, no, no", said the old lady. "You see, my back yard is right next to the football stadium parking lot. On game days, a lot of fans come and pee through a knot hole in the fence, right into my flower garden. It used to really tick me off. Kills the flowers, you know. Then I thought, why not make the best of it? So, now, on game days, I stand behind the fence by the knot hole, real quiet, with my hedge clippers.
Every time some guy sticks his thing through my fence, I surprise him, grab hold of it and say, 'O.K., buddy! Give me $20, or off it comes.'"
"Well, that seems only fair," said the cop, laugh- ing. "OK. Good luck! Oh, by the way, what's in the other bag?"
"Well, you know", said the little old lady, "not everybody pays."
633-9436418
$400/mo. Avail on 1/5/2017 • 445-3682418
Room for rent, full privileges $350/mo • 256-0868416
Private, shared kitchen, bath & living room. No smoking, pets or drugs. Nice area. Plenty of street parking. Close to freeway, month to month, must be employed. Refundable cleaning, security deposit $350. $405/mo, 1/3 utilities
• 483-4529416
Away from city, shared bath. $300+ $150dep; $350+ $200dep • 818-687-1044415
Room for rent $450 • 265- 8178415
Mobile park: $400/mo, female only • 445-3682415
E. Lancaster: Close to store, bus stop. Preferred female musician, private bath $550 • 789-8729415
Looking for roommate. Must be matured & employed • 917-3569414
W. Lancaster: Furnished, near AVC. Cable, great backyard w/ waterfall & gar- den $450 • 244-7921 / 579- 9119413
E. Lancaster: $425+ utilities, sec dep, verification of employment. Shared bath, kitchen, private bedroom • 754-1115415
16
661-266-4-ADS
ANTELOPE VALLEY FREE CLASSIFIEDS ;