Page 18 - IAV Digital Magazine #450

iAV - Antelope Valley Digital Magazine
Man Finds Answer To Alphabetti Spaghetti QuestionWe’veAll BeenAsking
By Tom Usher
It’s the question that has been on every person’s lips – quite literally in a way – but few have ventured to have answered.
Just how many of each letter are there in a tin of alphabet spaghetti?
Well John Stitch has spent nearly four hours taking part in a forensic investigation to find out.
He used two cans
of 75p Heinz pasta and a pair of tweez- ers to take the letters out individually. His research method, reasoning and con- clusion is as detailed, boring and long-wind- ed as you would hope it to be.
He said: ‘Yesterday me and my wife Deirdre went shop- ping at the big Tesco and when I was look- ing for some tins of beans I saw some tins of Alphabetti spaghetti and I have not seen any of them for a long time so we bought two tins and they cost 75p each.
‘Today I saw the tins
in the cupboard and I thought “I wonder if them tins have got all of the letters of the alphabet in” so I thought I would find out.
‘So I got a tin and I opened it and I got a strainer and I tipped all the letters into it and all the tomato sauce went into a
pan.
‘Then I got Deirdre’s tweezers and I picked all the letters out of the strainer and I put them all on a chop- ping board and when I finished I tipped all the letters back into the pan with the tomato sauce in it and then I did it with the other tin.
‘I found out that both of the tins had got all the letters of the alphabet in and tin 1 had 180 letters in it and tin 2 had 179 let- ters in it and both tins had some bits of let- ters in that broke off but I didn’t count them.
‘It was hard to do
because the letters were a bit slippery because of the toma- to sauce and when Deirdre came home we had it for our tea on some toast and we both had two sausages with it as well.’
He then meticulously drained the liquid from the from the two alphabet spaghetti tins. d out the letters individual- ly from A-Z
Then began the process of counting each letter side by side, using tweezers to pluck each one out then place them on his chopping board.
John is taking accu- sations of being bor- ing in his stride.
‘It’s a compliment to be described as bor- ing,’ he said. ‘The idea is to be as bor- ing as possible and not get excited in the write-ups I share online.
‘Britain’s most boring man? To be perfectly frank I’m one of the most interesting peo- ple in real life.
iAV - Antelope Valley Digital Magazine