Page 17 - IAV Digital Magazine #498

iAV - Antelope Valley Digital Magazine
My wife has not spoken to me in three days. I think it has something to do with what happened on Sunday night when she thought she heard a noise downstairs.
She nudged me and whispered, "Wake up, wake up!"
"What's the mat- ter?" I asked.
"There are bur- glars in the kitchen. I think they're eating the tuna casserole I made tonight."
"That'll teach them!" I replied.
Three men want make phone call from Hell to remind to their relatives about its harsh conditions Their Nationalities were American, Italian and Iraqi.
So they decide to go to Devil who is the boss. So the American made a call and the Devil made him to pay 100 USD, then an Italian made a call and the Devil made him to pay 10 Euros on fact that Italy is less developed than that of USA.
LASTLY an Iraqi made a call and
the Devil made him to pay a cent.
Both the American and Italian complain as it is not fair and the devil responded to them "The Iraqi call was a local call whereas your was an International call"
A4yearoldboy was asked to give thanks before a big dinner. The family members bowed their heads in expecta- tion. He began his prayer, thanking God for all his friends, naming them one by one. Then he thanked God for Mommy, Daddy, brother, sister, Grandma, Grandpa, and all his aunts and uncles.
Then he began to thank God for the food. He gave thanks for the turkey, the dress- ing, the fruit salad, the cran- berry sauce, the pies, the cakes, even the Cool Whip. Then he paused, and everyone waited-- and waited.
After a long silence, the young fellow looked up at his mother and asked, "If I thank God for the broc-
coli, won't he know that I'm lying?"
Onedayamanis walking down the street when he sees an old man with a nice look- ing dog. He goes over to the man and asks, "Does your dog bite?"
The old man replies, "No, never."
When the man bends down to pet the dog, it immediately takes a snap at his hand. The man says, 'I thought you said your dog did not bite!"
"I did," replies the old man, "but this isn't my dog!"
Tech: "Hello, this is tech support. What can I help you with today?"
User: (describes problem)
Tech: (rattles off computer jargon)
User: "Sorry, I don't understand. Can you explain what I should do asifIwerea small child?"
Tech: "Okay... 'Hi, could you please put your mommy on the phone?'"
Iowa Man Receives Postcard Mailed 33 Years Earlier
By Ben Hooper
May 7 (UPI) -
- An Iowa man who received a postcard from his sister said he was surprised to note the card had been mailed in 1987.
Paul Willis, a
hog farmer in Thornton, said a postcard appeared in his mailbox recently from his sister, Annie Lovell, and he soon noticed the card bore a picture of Lovell on a Grand Canyon hike in 1987 -- and a San Francisco postmark from
December of that same year.
Willis said the postcard bore a second postmark from April 29 of this year in Des Moines, so he called the post office to see if they had any explanation for the postcard's tardiness.
"She said, 'Well, the post offices are all going through deep cleaning because
of COVID-19,' " Willis told the Santa Rosa Press-Democrat.
The employee
said the postcard may have been discovered while furniture and machines were being moved for cleaning.
An Illinois woman experi- enced a similar incident in July 2019, when a postcard showed up at her home that had been mailed 26 years earlier. Kim Draper said the card was addressed to the previous resi- dents of her Springfield home and recounted the residents' father's travels in Hong Kong.
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