Page 17 - iAV Digital Magazine #392

The only true FREE CLASSIFIEDS in the Antelope Valley... Where buyers and sellers meet!
A farm boy accidentally overturned his wagon of corn. The farmer who lived nearby heard the noise and yelled over to the boy,
"Hey Willis forget your troubles. Come in and visit with us. I'll help you get the wagon up later."
"That's mighty nice of you," Willis answered, "but I don't think Pa would like me to."
"Aw come on boy," the farmer insisted.
"Well okay," the boy final- ly agreed, and added, "but Pa won't like it."
After a hearty dinner, Willis thanked his host. "I feel a lot better now, but I know Pa is going to be real upset."
"Don't be foolish!" the neighbor said with a smile. "By the way, where is he?"
"Under the wagon."
An old man was LYING IN HIS DEATH bed upstairs. His favorite food in the world was chocolate chip cookies. As he lay there, gasping for each breath he was sure he could smell freshly-backed chocolate chip cookies. He crawled out of bed and slowly limped down the stairs. Sure enough, across the kitchen, there was a huge platter of chocolate chip cookies on the table. He finally made it to the table and he reached a shacking hand towards the cookies.
Suddenly, his wife slapped his hand sharply and yelled, "DONT TOUCH THOSE - THEY ARE FOR THE FUNER- AL!!!"
Teacher: "Anyone who thinks he's stupid may stand up!"
*Nobody stands up
Teacher: "I'm sure there are some stupid students over here!!"
*Little Johnny stands up
Teacher: "Ohh, Johnny you think you're stupid?"
Little Johnny: "No... i just feel bad that you're standing alone..."
Mr. Norton was in the hospital recovering from an operation when the nurse on duty received a call from a man who asked how Mr. Norton was doing.
"Oh, quite well. We expect he'll be released in the morning."
"Very good, thank you."
"May I ask who is calling so that I can tell Mr. Norton?" inquired the nurse.
"This is Mr. Norton. The doctors don't tell me any- thing!"
A Chinese Doctor can't find a job in a Hospital in the US, so he opens a clinic and puts a sign outside 'GET TREAT- MENT FOR $20 - IF NOT CURED GET BACK $100.'
An American lawyer thinks this is a great opportunity to earn $100 and goes to the clinic.
Lawyer: "I have lost my sense of taste." Chinese: "Nurse, bring medicine from box No. 22 and put 3 drops in patient's mouth." Lawyer: "Ugh. this is kerosene."
Chinese: "Congrats, your sense of taste is restored. Give me $20."
The annoyed lawyer goes back after a few days to recover his money.
Lawyer: "I have lost my memory. I cannot remember anything." Chinese: "Nurse, bring medicine from box no. 22 and put 3 drops in his mouth."
Lawyer (annoyed): "This is kerosene. You gave this to me last time for restoring my taste."
Chinese: "Congrats. You got your memory back.
Give me $20." The fuming lawyer pays him, and then comes back a week later deter- mined to get back $100.
Lawyer: "My eyesight has become very weak I can't see at all." Chinese: "Well, I don't have any medicine for that, so take this $100."
Lawyer (staring at the note): "But this is $20, not $100!!" Chinese: "Congrats, your eyesight is restored. Give me $20"
You can't beat Chinese Doctors
Q. Why does Santa go down the chimney on Christmas rather than through the door?
A. Because it soot’s him!
There was this guy at a bar, just looking at his drink. He stays like that for half of an hour.
Then, this big trouble- making truck driver steps next to him, takes the drink from the guy, and just drinks it all down. The poor man starts cry- ing. The truck driver says, "Come on man, I was just joking. Here, I'll buy you another drink. I just can't stand to see a man cry."
"No, it's not that. This day is the worst of my life. First, I fall asleep, and I go late to my office. My boss, outrageous, fires me. When I leave the building, to my car, I found out it was stolen. The police said that they can do nothing. I get a cab to return home, and when I leave it, I remem- ber I left my wallet and credit cards there. The cab driver just drives away."
"I go home, and when I get there, I find my wife in bed with the gardener. I leave home, and come to this bar. And just when I was thinking about put- ting an end to my life, you show up and drink my poison."
Mercedes Benz brakelight lens covers for 1970-1980’s. Disconnected, ready to go. One pair $68 • 272-9273 bet 8am-8:30pm377
Repair manual for Dodge full size pick up trucks 1994-96 $21 for 2WD & 4WD, gas & diesel engines • 272-9273 bet 8am- 8:30pm377
13” Dexter rim for very old trailer. Good cond $35 • 272-9273 bet 8am-8:30pm376
Repair manual for basic car- buration & fuel sys $35. The how & why for all things car- burator. Includes smog, emissions, fuel pumps & lines • 272-9273 bet 8:30am-8:30pm only373
Chrysler/Dodge/Eagle repair manual 1993-97 $18. Chrysler LHS, Concorde & New Yorker. Also Dodge Intrepid & Eagle Vision. In good shape • 272-9273 bet 8:30am-8:30pm37
Flywheels for V8 Chevy motors $21. For older chevy motor • 272-9273 bet 8:30am-8:30pm37
Used tire, 65% tread left $23. P215/65/R17 • 272- 9273 bet 8am-8:30pm only3663
Chilton’s repair manual for Mazda cars 1978-89, good cond. Models 323, 626, 929, GLC, MX-6 & RX7 $20 • 272-9273 bet 8am-8:30pm
ball, just hitch. 1.25”x1.25”x13”long for rid- ing mowers & small tractors • 272-9273 bet 8:30am- 8:30pm330
Big rigs/bus tires snow chains $60/pr. Call for sizes • 272-9273 bet 8:30am- 8:30pm330
14” & 15” tire snow chains for passeger cars $25/pr • 272-9273 bet 8:30am- 8:30pm330
All Scion Car Accessories
Secure Shopping - Fast Service - Quality Products. Rear View Camera - Lumbar Support - Seat Heaters - Cruise Control - Arm Rest(with or without storage) - Sports Grilles - Dash Kits - Body Kits - Wheels Skins - Car Mats - LeBra Hood Protector - Window Covers - Dash Mats - Seat Gloves - Pet Pads - Wind Deflector - Pet Protector - Head Lights & Fog Lights Protector & Many other items.... www.allscion.com
BOATS &
WATERCRAFT
Transom mount for small boat. Strong & secure. Made of solid steel, has clamps on it $28 firm • 272-
9273 bet 8:30am-8:30pm
385
Canopy for small boat. Made of thick vinyl w/ metal frame. 61 1/2” wide at bot- tom base x 24” high. Older, been in storage $50 • 272-
9273 bet 8am-8:30pm
376
92 Ford Mustang LX, 4cy, needs tranny $450 • 754- 0960396
96 Honda Accord auto, 4dr w/ engine, stereo, tint, very clean, runs good $1200 • 609-5393396
92 Honda Civic LX, 4dr, 5spd, 1.5L, 4cyl, 288k miles, strong motor, good cond, needs catalytic con- verter $1500 w/ stereo; $1000 w/o stereo • 576- 3165396
94 Honda Civic, 4dr, 5spd $1500 • 424-222-2846394
90 Honda LX, 4dr, needs an alternator $700 • 733-2849394
04 Honda Civic EX, 2dr, ac, smogged $4800 • 202- 5985391
2012 Honda Civic LX, 1.8, auto, 4dr, tint, premium 18” rims, CD, 64k orig miles, alarm $14,000 • 789-8729393
02 Hyundai Accent 2dr, 4cy. Whole car or parts out $500 • 722-6785394
92 Saturn 4cy, 5spd, sun- roof $1800 • 264-3870392
94 Toyota Camry, runs great, good cond, EGR valve throttle, 4drs, new tires, a/c $1000 • 547-9560
CLASSIC
72 Ford truck $1500 • 522-
1832
396
41 Chevy Special Deluxe, 4dr, needs restoration $7000 • 202-7646392
392
only
352
Chiltons repair manual for GM cars 1982-1992. Covers Chevy Celebrity, Buick Century, Olds Cutlass, Pontiac Ciera $24 • 272- 9273 bet 8am-8:30pm only352
Emergency “Skinny” tires, 4 & 5 lug rims. Fits Ford, GM & others on 15” rims $15ea • 272-9273 between 8:30am-8:30pm331
1 Used tire 215/60R16, good cond, 50% tread left $25 • 272-9273 between 8:30am-8:30pm394
Chevy antique truck emblem w/ lock to open trunk. Not sure what make or year. Possibly mid 1950’s • 272-9273 between 8:30am-8:30pm331
Mid 1950’s F250 emblem. One only, great cond $35 • 272-9273 bet 8:30am- 8:30pm330
1” ball trailer hitch $15. No
Heavy duty rubber raft w/ two paddles. Holds 2 small- er people or 1 big person. No leaks. $50 xlnt cond • 272-9273 bet 8am-8:30pm
375
CARS
86 Chevy El Camino, V8, runs good, no dents $3,000 • 818-987-7056394
98 Buick Regal, 4dr, 111k miles, xlnt cond, new tires, CD/tapes $2000 • 429-
72 Chevy C20 pick up, needs engine, rebuilt tranny
$2500 • 917-3383
392
75 Mercedes Benz, sports coupe Hard/ Soft top, 2dr $2800 • 264-3870392
1969 Fisher body service manual $35. Includes every- thing but motor & tranny. Great cond, rare find • 272-
4000
9273 bet 8am-8:30pm only
HEAvY EqUIPMENT
18" Disk set, 72" wide for Class 1 tractor hitch. Disassembled for easy transport. (my tractor has broken hydraulics) Can deliver, AV, Littlerock, Acton. You remove from trailer and assemble. OR
385
394
93 Buick Skylark, runs good, clean but needs work • 943-2343394
00 Buick LeSabre custom, 114k miles, great cond $3,000 • 860-1601393
94 Cadillac SLS. Body, engine & interior in xlnt cond. Needs tarnny work $850 • 860-1601394
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