Page 17 - IAV Digital Magazine #509

iAV - Antelope Valley Digital Magazine
A couple, both age 78, went to a sex therapist's office. The doctor asked, "What can I do for you?"
The man said, "Will you watch us have sex?"
The doctor looked puzzled, but agreed.
When the couple finished, the doc- tor said, "There's nothing wrong with the way you have sex," and charged them $50.
This happened several weeks in a row. The couple would make an appointment, have sex with no problems, pay the doctor, then leave.
Finally, the doctor asked, "Just exactly what are you trying to find out?"
"We're not trying to find out any- thing," the hus- band replied. "She's married and we can't go to her house. I'm married and we can't go to my house. The Holiday Inn charges $90. The
Hilton charges $108. We do it here for $50...and I get $43 back from Medicare.
I was cleaning out my loft as it had become cluttered up with various junk I had collect- ed over the years.
I came across an old oil painting and an aging vio- lin which I had forgotten about.
I wondered if they had any value so I took them to an expert for an appraisal.
After studying them he said he thought they both dated back to the 17th century or thereabouts.
He said “I have got good news for you and I have bad news for you.”
“What is the good news?” I asked.
He replied “What you have got here is a Stradivarius and a Rembrandt.”
“Oh! wow. So they are valu- able?” I exclaimed.
“ Well no,” he replied. “That brings me to the ba news............. Stradivarius was a lousy painter, and Rembrandt made crappy vio- lins.....!”
Two diners at a very swanky eatery were shocked to see on the menu a dish of "hickory- smoked possum jowls in pancake syrup."
They summoned a waiter to com- plain.
Their waiters looked at the menu. Then he threw it down and yelled to the owner in the kitchen, "Hey, the printers forgot to translate the menu into French again!"
After my 91-year- old mother fin- ished having her hair cut and shaped, the stylist announced, “There, now you look ten years younger!”
My mother, un- impressed, replied, “Who wants to look 81 years old?”
Vermont Woman Reconnects With South Korean Family After 44yrs
By Ben Hooper
Oct. 28 (UPI) -
- A Vermont woman who got separated from her family at a South Korean market when she was only 2 years old was reunited with her mother and siblings in a video chat 44 years later.
Denise McCarty, 46, of Springfield,
said she has been
searching for her family for years, and in 2016 she visited the coun- try and took a DNA test as part of a program seeking to help Korean adoptees reconnect with their birth fami- lies.
McCarty received a phone call this month informing her that a match had been found and a few days later she spoke with her mother,
brother and iden- tical twin sister for the first time in a video call.
McCarty, born Sang-Ae, learned she was only 2 years old when she and her sis- ter, Sang-Hee, became separat- ed from their grandmother at Namdaemun Market in Seoul. Sang-Hee was found two days later, but Sang- Ae was taken to an orphanage two hours away and was not located by the family.
McCarthy said
the U.S. couple who adopted her in 1976 were told that she had been abandoned at a hospital because she was sick.
Lee Eung-sun, McCarthy's 78- year-old birth mother, said she never stopped looking for her long-lost daugh- ter.
The family said they are now hoping to unite in person once the COVID-19 pan- demic subsides and international travel becomes safer.
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