Page 12 - IAV Digital Magazine #484

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No Deal Brexit Could Lead to Rise in Public Sex, Minister Warns
By Jack Hadfield
A cabinet minister confessed that a No Deal Brexit sit- uation could lead to bored lorry drivers stuck in traffic jams seek- ing public sex.
Initially reported by The Times, the cabinet minister was caught at the Conservative con- ference this week worrying about the potential increase in “dog- ging” near the channel ports in a No Deal Brexit scenario. Such a scenario would be the result of Britain leaving the European Union without a formal withdrawal deal, something that Prime Minister Boris Johnson
says will happen if the EU refuses to compromise before October 31st.
If lorries were backed up and stuck in traffic jams before tak-
ing the crossing to France, the minister said that an increase in “dogging” was likely to occur:
One of the things we talk about in these no-deal
meetings con- cerns haulers and their activities. The main thing is whether they will turn up at the Channel ports with the right paperwork. But there are also
dogging hotspots all over the place.
“Dogging” is a British term for having sex in public while oth- ers watch – it is common in car parks, woods, and lay-bys across the coun- try. Concerns about a spike in the activity were mostly focused on British lorry driv- ers. “Do Europeans even do dogging?” the minister asked. “There is some- thing deeply British about dog- ging.”
Operation Yellowhammer, a government docu- ment detailing the worst case No Deal scenario, envisages
a “three month meltdown” at British ports. While this is unlikely to hap- pen, there would mostly likely be some delays.
National
File reported this week on the case of a man literally driven mad by Brexit. A man in his 40s developed a serious case of psychosis follow- ing the Brexit ref- erendum vote, suffering halluci- nations and delu- sions as a result. Dr Mohammad Katsu said the patient was hospi- talised, and was diagnosed with acute schizophre- nia-like psychotic disorder.
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