Page 25 - DESCRIPTIVE

Example 4

(Sample Bad Descriptive essay)

Topic : I hate wet and reiny days.

It rained a lot in 1816.... a lot - like everyday; the weather in Europe was

abnormally wet because it rained in Switzerland on 130 out of the 183 days

from April to September. If I was Mary Shelley I might decide to write a book

too. After all, it's the only thing you could do without TV or anything. She

said that she "passed the summer of 1816 in the environs of Geneva...we

occasionally amused ourselves with some German stories of ghosts...These

tales excited us in a playful desire of imitation" So, people were stuck inside

and bored . Mary Shelley decided to write a book because it was so awful

outside. I can totally see her point, you know? I guess I would write a novel

if there was nothing else to do.

The reason being a bad descriptive essay

1. The opening sentence is not on target, and it has a spelling error.

2. The second sentence states a fact, but no cited source is provided -

plagiarism!

3. The rest of the paragraph begins to discuss the topic, but not clearly

enough to allow the audience to see where you are heading.

4. The quote used does little to support the opening sentences.

5. Grammar errors and run on sentences are present as well.

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