Page 24 - SB-Little Prince
P. 24

Getting the things you want and doing the things you want is nice but there is no rule that you ought to be able to do or to have whatever it is you want. It would be nice but there may be a good reason why you can not have or do whatever it is that you want. Sometimes what you want is not convenient for the adult. Although this is frustrating, there still is no rule that it ought to be convenient for the adult. If they say “not now,” that should be the end of it.
Learning to stop telling yourself ‘ought messages’ when you don’t get something, will help you with your anger. “Maybe I will get it another time” or “I am able to do without it,” are the self-messages that will help you deal more effectively with life.
Next we see a “should not” self-message by the Prince causing problems for everyone else. The bee should not have stung him, he told himself. Granted, being stung is not fun and it did hurt (many things in life are not fun and many things in life hurt) but there is no rule that it should not have happened.
Even when the gardener tried to explain that the insect was just behaving in its natural way, the Prince would not listen and banished all the flowering plants. When you ask someone to give you something or to do something and they say “no” and you tell yourself that they “should,” you will become angry and act badly. There is no reason anyone should or should not do or say something. By telling yourself these messages, you allow yourself to be controlled by what others do or fail to do.
If you tell yourself that someone should want to play with you but they choose someone else, you will become angry and act badly to the person. In this way, you are allowing what they do or fail to do to control how you feel and behave.
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