Page 29 - SB-Little Prince

Myth No. 1: Actively expressing your anger reduces it.
Part A: Expressing your rage reduces its risks to your health. Part B: Letting your resentment out will make you feel less angry.
Truth: Expressing rage may trigger the kind of internal arousal that is most likely to lead to artery damage. Studies show that both verbal and physical expressions of anger lead to more, not less, anger and violence.
Myth No. 2: Take time out when you feel angry.
Truth: Such a tactic is really avoidance and usually backfires. First, you are not addressing problems that need to be solved. When you run away from difficulties, they don’t disappear and they tend to grow into even bigger problems. Second, avoiding your feelings stops you from discovering how to manage them better.
Myth No 3: Anger pushes you to get what you want.
Truth: Some people may bend to your desire while you are yelling or threatening. Over time, they are likely to become resentful, bitter or distant. Eventually, they will lean how to sabotage this control. People make the mistake of looking only at the short-term rewards of their hostility.
Myth No. 4: Insight into your past decreases your anger.
Truth: Thinking about and reliving the past will do little to help you deal with the present. You may have suffered early abuse or neglect that helped you become enraged. What you need to do is learn how to reframe those experiences and to challenge some of the anger-creating beliefs you still have about them to reduce your present rage.
Myth No. 5: Outside events make you angry.
Truth: Your beliefs about the things that are happening determine your emotional responses. In the case of anger, when you are frustrated, your reactions may feel almost automatic. To successfully reduce your anger and more sanely face life’s difficulties, give up the idea that unfair situations, difficult people and great frustrations automatically make you furious. Yes, they do help cause the situation but you still largely create what you feel.
26