Page 25 - FS-Little Prince
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If you get in trouble because of how you are acting, the problem is not that they would not play with you, the problem is with your insistence that they should choose you over someone else.
If your should, must and ought messages are directed at yourself, you may become scared, angry or embarrassed and will act badly. In the archery part of the story, the Prince thought that he should, ought, must, shoot as good as the others.
When he did not, he got angry with himself. Even though his anger was self-directed (embarrassed) it was still foolish. He had not practiced shooting a bow and arrow, so why should he expect to be good. He could have told himself, “I don’t shoot well because I have not practiced like these others. I will start practicing today and realize that it may take me a long time to become good at this arrow shooting.”
Instead of this good self-message, the Little Prince told himself that he must be good and since he was not, he banished bows and arrows. If we have self-directed messages like this, “I must make the team (the best grade)” or something like that and don’t, you will become very sad or angry with yourself.
Instead of trying harder next time or only being concerned with doing your best, you may just quit trying. More people fail in school and drop out of sports because of their Stinky Thinking, than because they can’t learn the subject or don’t have enough talent and skill to play the game.
In the story, the Little Prince “banished” the things he did not like and the people who disagreed with him or with whom he felt uncomfortable. He never asked himself if his anger made sense. He did this because “punishing others” made him “feel” better. When You allow your anger to direct your behavior, we are acting just like the Little Prince.
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