Page 28 - FS-Little Prince

Both your misinterpretation and your irrational beliefs occur in your thinking as automatic thoughts, which are difficult for you to recognize. With practice you will be able to perform this exercise without being aware you are doing it. To help with the exercise, ask others, (your friends, parents or instructor), to demonstrate how they became angry in a situation and ask them to go through their own ABC’s for you. And then dispute, “D” their irrational beliefs, to demonstrate how they could have dealt more effectively with
the situation.
You can use a real life situation which occurred fairly recently so that you will recall what you told yourself (B) to generate the emotion (C) of anger. Share with others how you acted ( C, your behavior ), when you allowed yourself to become angry. Also share what you could have told yourself to dispute D (your anger generating beliefs).
SITUATION
A... You ask someone to have lunch with you and they tell you that they have other plans
BELIEFS
B... You tell yourself:
“He/She OUGHT to have accepted my invitation. They are not a real friend.” or, “I have been friendly to he/she and they SHOULD be willing to go to lunch with me.”
EMOTION/BEHAVIOR
C... You become angry and tell yourself that you won’t ever do anything for them again. or, You ignore them when you see them and tell others that they are “stuck up.”
DISPUTTING
D... “I have no reason to think that they are telling me anything but the truth, (that they had other plans). I am making myself unhappy. I will just ask another friend to lunch and not be upset.”
An Example:
Now take a piece of paper and write A,B,C,D and complete the exercise using a situation in which you became angry or embarrassed. Your D should be a rational alternative (Good Thinking) to your B (Stinky Thinking) and that should change your C to OK emotions and Thumbs Up behavior. As always, practice, practice, practice.
25