Page 37 - FS-Little Prince
P. 37
This “Demandingness” story can be used to help us recognize the irrational thinking of children we label as “bullies” and “spoiled” but it should also help us recognize the commonality in their thinking with that of the overly shy and underachiever. Their behavior is different (though all are dysfunctional) but their unwillingness to delay gratification, endure discomfort and accept reality weaves a common thread, which if not changed or modified will lead to problems as adults.
The story ends with the apparent destruction of the kingdom. Although it is just a fairy tale, it does mirror real life. The seduction of the Demanding Irrational beliefs is that it has payoffs. You may “get what you want when you want it” and you may be able to surround yourself with others who will have complimentary irrational beliefs. You may be able to “self medicate” with drugs and alcohol and not have to learn another more effective coping style or change those irrational beliefs.
But frequently, all of this fails and you hit “rock bottom” and you have lost everything; job, family, self-respect (the Kingdom) and now you must change a lifetime of irrational thinking. As you might guess this is a formidable task and for some it takes many tries and for others it proves impossible.
For this reason, we want to address the Demandingness of all the “Little Princes” long before they have to try to rebuild a kingdom, which has been destroyed.
34