Page 38 - Tree of Happiness

You should encourage and reinforce such coping with disappointment and adversity. This is different than just “grin and bare it,” only to have them fall to pieces later.
Rather, it is an acceptance of reality (I did not make the team) an opportunity to learn (what could I have done differently) and a refusal to catastrophes (there will be another opportunity next year and if I don’t make it then, I will just do something else).
This skill of coping with disappointment and adversity, if learned as children will go a long way to insure that as adolescents and adults they don’t look for “Elves” to give the “Key” of happiness in the form of dysfunctional relationships, drugs, alcohol or criminal behavior.
Another common human characteristic to be challenged with this story is the need for approval and assurance. The Advisors in the story did not support the Queen’s desire to build the Road. Ordinarily, she would have given in to their demands. But by keeping the idea of obtaining happiness in her mind she was able to withstand their demands that she give up on the “Road Idea .”
Most of us, are by our nature mostly followers. Every parent has said something to the effect of, “Well if Johnny jumped off the bridge would you?” The ability to withstand the “herd instinct” is difficult. If everyone says it’s blue but it looks green to you, would you stand up and say that it is green?
Encourage rational independent decision-making. It is okay for a child to do something that is based on Good Thinking, because it is in their best long-term best self-interest, without intent of harming others, even if the others disapprove. This could be as simple as an act of politeness when most are being rude, to completing a project while the others are busy being distracted.
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