Page 70 - Tree of Happiness

Worksheet
Because we are social animals we often assume that we all know how to appropriately make friends. The Queen in our story had come a long way from being “Princess Sad” in the beginning of the story. She had learned that making friends is fairly complicated. It involves making them feel important and needed as well as an ability to recognize and accept that not everyone will like you.
Getting “outside of yourself” and attend to other’s needs and wishes is very difficult for children and many adults. Those who are able and willing to do this are frequently the non-designated (informal) leaders in groups and organizations. They may not have the title but they have the respect and confidence of others.
The point of this part of the story is that the Queen did not use those “tools” easily at her disposal such as “threats or bribes” to raise her army. Not surprisingly, she found that using “people skills” to raise this army, “Seemed harder than all of the others tasks put together.”
The questions on this worksheet allow children to verbalize what they would say and do to let someone know that they want them as a friend. Once again, it is more important to identify “Good Thinking” self-messages and encourage those than to point out the poorer quality self-messages. Throughout this program, you want to encourage the development of a good cognitive coping repertory. These are the self-messages that will help the children throughout their lives. In this case, the skill of making friends... a truly valuable skill.
1. What are two things that you could say to someone to let them know that you want to be their friend?
(You could complement them about something. You could make a point of always saying hello whenever you see them.)
2. What are two things you could do so that someone would know that you want to be their friend?
(You could make a point of smiling at them or sit next to them.)
3. Name one thing someone could say to you and one thing they could do that would let you know that they want to be your friend.
(What is important about this question is that the things you like to hear from others and the things you would like for them to do, are what you need to say and do to make friends.)
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