Page 69 - Tree of Happiness

Worksheet
In the first part of this worksheet’s questions, we want to remind the children that the Queen’s reluctance to pursue the task of the “1000 books” was the result of her thinking about the task, not the task itself. “She kept thinking about the things that the Wizard and Advisors had told her” and that is why she considered quitting.
When we feel anxious or scare in “1000 books” situations such as preparing for a test or interview, quitting will relieve the negative emotions. For some, avoiding the negative emotions becomes a habit and they are very reluctant to try the new or difficult tasks in life. Your children should be able to verbalize that if the Queen had allowed herself to continue to think this way, she would have quit the quest for the books and gone home.
Our reader needs to understand that it is not any great or magical quality that allowed the Queen to overcome her fears and continue with the “1000 books” task. She merely told herself, “Look how far you have come... why quit now .” Too many children who see others succeed at tasks that they would not attempt, think of it as being some how “magical.” They attribute qualities to others... being very smart or brave, as something that they do not possess. In reality it is simple a set of coping self-messages that allows others to accept the anxiety they experience, deal with it and continue on with the task.
The final question on this page asks for your children to verbalize their own coping self- messages. Some may have many and others few. Encourage them to use Good Thinking coping self-messages. It may even be valuable to post them in convenient places so that they can use this valuable “self-talk” in stressful situations. This central idea of Good Thinking skills is use what allows you to deal with difficult situations and people. To most children and many adults, the abilities to deal with adversity demonstrated by the Queen seem impossible. And if others can succeed like the Queen, it is because they have some “magical quality,” like Character or Courage, which the rest of us lack. The reader must understand that only by changing her thinking did our Queen “suddenly” gain the ability to persevere.
1. Getting the 1000 “Best Books” was very difficult. Did the Queen ever think about quitting? Yes, when she let her Stinky Thinking takes over.
2. When she told herself those negative self-statements, how did she feel? Alone and scared.
3. If she had allowed herself to keep thinking that way, what would she have done? Quit trying to get the “Books” and go home.
4. What did she tell herself so she would not feel so frustrated and quit?
Look how much you have done already, don’t quit now. If you quit, you will never get into the Tree of Happiness.
5. What do you tell yourself when things get difficult so that you won’t quit a difficult task? (These self-messages could be similar to the Queens. If you can’t think of any, you need to teach some to yourself.)
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