Page 38 - Three of Happiness

In raising the army, the Queen focused on the needs of the people. She did not tell them that she was the Queen and they must follow her. Neither did she offer them bribes. Instead, she said, “Without you, I have no kingdom to rule. My goal is to make your lives better but now I need your help.”
The skill of empathy ( being aware of the feelings of others) and a concern for others, are necessary skills for the development of true friends. Lack of these skills leads to few friends or to the use of manipulation and intimidation to maintain the illusion of friends. It is very important in this story, as it is in real life, to be able to get others to work with you, to be your friends because they want to, not because you “bribe or threaten them.”
It would be nice if all those who are important to us would wish to help us do the things we know we must do to be happy. Unfortunately, that is not always the case. In Part Two, the Queen’s Advisors were not supportive of her efforts to raise an army or of running off the dragon.
As in Part One, the story illustrates that others may not always support you when you do what is in your best self-interest. Consequently, it is important to learn how to accurately evaluate a situation, plan a strategy and then stick with it.
When the Queen confronted the Dragon, she was terribly afraid. But she overcame her reluctance to face the Dragon by telling herself, “I might be killed but if I don’t do this I will live a life of unhappiness and that would be even worse.”
This may seem extreme but the “real world” message is that you must face the things that you fear, such as taking a test, trying out for a team, telling someone ‘no’ or you will live a life with much unhappiness. Your “Dragons,” are something you know you should do but for some reason (Stinky Thinking), avoid doing. Avoiding or running away from difficulties leads to a life of unhappiness.
When the Queen faced the Dragon, it turned and ran away. Most situations we fear become scarier the more we avoid them. Once faced, they usually turn out to be very manageable and then we can’t imagine why we were so afraid of them.
An understanding that Dragons (personal fears are to be faced and not avoided, is a very difficult and demanding lesson. The skill necessary to face these fears is your ability to use ‘coping self-messages.’ This skill takes much practice.
After the Dragon left, the Queen told the people that they must be ready to face another dragon or any like it, if it comes back. Difficulties (Dragons) are a part of life and facing them each and every time they come up is an important part of this lesson.
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