Page 40 - Three of Happiness

EXERCISES Confron ng the Dragon
The exercise for this program is “Confront the Dragon .” Once again, this exercise is a Coping Skill, which can be used throughout your life, not just during this program. Adults who are having problems in their lives, ranging from substance abuse to depression, o en lack the skills being taught in this program. It only goes to reason therefore that if you learn these skills when you are young and prac ce them into adulthood, the likelihood of you having these problems is reduced.
The Dragon is one of the centerpieces of the story, The Tree of Happiness. It is used to represent your fears. The drama c nature of a dragon character helps us to visualize the power of those fears. Your personal dragons can be anything, from a fear of failure to a fear of being alone. For a child, it may be as concrete as the fear of falling o a bike to a vague fear of not being liked.
Just as with the Queen, all of your personal Dragons (fears must be faced. However, facing the Dragon does not come naturally. For most of us, avoiding the Dragon is what comes naturally. Unfortunately, if we follow our natural tendencies, the Dragons will control us rather than us controlling them.
Think about someone who is a “Personal Dragon .” Maybe they have been ugly to you or they are someone you owe money to or something like that. When you think about them, do you suddenly become angry or scared? If you pull up to the store and you see them going in, do you ask your parent to go to another store or ask to wait in the car un l they leave? Do you avoid studying a par cular subject because you nd it di cult or because you have made bad grades in it in the past? If this fits, they are a Dragon for you. Can you see in this example that you are adjusting your life based on avoiding your “Dragon?”
Your Dragon need not be a person as it could be your “Fear of asking a ques on in class,” or “Being asser ve with your friend,” or “Placing reasonable expecta ons on your playmates.” You know it is a Dragon if when you think about it, you become fearful. Then you think of reasons why this is not a good me to deal with it and later become angry with yourself for not dealing with it.
It is important to remember that all of these skills and exercises are to be used Ra onally. There are some situa ons and people that should be avoided. There are mes and situa ons when this exercise is not appropriate. But by using it, you will nd that you will be able to tell when confron ng the Dragon is appropriate and you will be in control of your life.
How should you deal with your “Personal dragons?”
First, recognize your Dragon in all its “Splendor.”
O en, fears are the consequence of a vague concept or belief. Using our “Special person” example, ask yourself “Just who is this I am avoiding?” “What am I telling myself about them that is causing me all of this discomfort?”
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