Page 31 - FS-Jeff the Monkey

CONCLUSION
Jeff is the “classic” child. You probably have had several “Jeffs” in your life. Some of whom may be almost identical to Jeff in their behavior and some others who would be just like Jeff if you were not vigilant and assertive.
Jeff’s irrational beliefs are some of the most basic irrational beliefs of children and many adult substance abusers. “Life should be easy or it is not fair!” “Anyone who makes me uncomfortable or demands that I do something I don’t want to do is just being mean and should be ignored.”
We suggest that you consider putting a banner in your child’s room, “LIFE IS NOT FAIR ...NOW GET ON WITH IT .” This may seem like a harsh message for young children but too often, the failure to be realistic (It would be nice if life were always fair but we have to learn how to deal with it when it isn’t fair) will cause problems at their young age and serious problems if this belief continues into adulthood.
Whenever a child makes themselves upset because they did not get called on to answer a question in class or something similar, rather than reason with them or promise them that “next time it will work out” just point to the banner and not attend to their whining.
A serious problem that can occur early in a child’s school career is the development of a series of irrational beliefs that lead to a “fear of failure.” As with Jeff, rather than causing them to try particularly hard not to fail, they cease trying at all.
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