Page 38 - SB-Collard Green Garden

PARENT NOTES COLLARD GREEN GARDEN
TOPIC: Peer Pressure comes in many variations and you must learn how to deal with it or others will be able to control you.
The “Cosmos Explains” (rationale) of the Collard Green Garden starts by explaining manipulation and the term, Peer Pressure. Your children may be familiar with the idea but the Story, Rationale and Exercise are designed to give them a greater understanding of and appreciation for the consequences of manipulation.
Be sure that they understand that manipulation and (negative) peer pressure have to do with trying to influence you into doing or not doing something against your best self-interest. We are often trying to influence others into doing things they don’t want to do but are in their best self-interest. No one wants to study, exercise or diet and when we try to influence them, it may be technically manipulation but not in the sense it is used in this story, because we are acting in their best interest.
The first character, the Rabbit, manipulates with guilt. Often, it is the more emotionally sensitive and empathetic child who can fall victim to this type of manipulation.
It is alright to be concerned and even helpful but when doing so puts you in a position of harm, (for example, letting someone copy off your test or giving away your lunch money) it is quite possible that this has become manipulation.
Many adult substance abusers use “guilt manipulation” to have others cover for them at work and finance their substance abuse. It is a style of manipulation that if confronted in young children could be eliminated.
A potential problem with the person, who is easily manipulated by the “guilt” style, is that they will overreact once they realize it is occurring. They may now see any concern or empathy for another as setting themselves up to be taken advantage of and see their noble characteristic as a weakness.
They may become bitter and mean spirited as a reaction to this type of manipulation. To avoid this over reaction, teach your children to recognize real need and reacting appropriately, while maintaining their own best self interests and thus feel “OK” when they reject guilt manipulation.
35