Page 39 - SB-Polly Perfect

CONCLUSION
A desire to succeed, win or be the best and a demand to succeed, win or be the best are very different.
In the Exercise portion of this story, these differences are explained. “Wanting to succeed, to win is fine. But demanding that you must succeed, that you should win is what will cause you to be a ‘Polly Perfect’. Your demandingness will cause you a lot of unhappiness and will make others not want to be around you.”
The difficult thing for most of us is knowing when we are having Stinky or Good Thinking. Frequently our emotional responses are similar when we fail to “win.” We may feel disappointment, sadness or even anger. The level of intensity of the emotion may be different if we “desire” to win rather than “demand” to win. But for most children and many adults, this difference is too subtle to understand. So instead, we concentrate on attending to the things that you tell yourself about the “contest.”
You can catch yourself when your “Polly Perfect” is coming out by attending to your thinking and looking for “Polly Squawks.” These are unrealistic and irrational demands.
“That’s not fair”
“You like him/her better than you like me.”
“I never get to (whatever it is that you are not going to get to do).” “If I don’t (make the team, best grade, etc,) I’ll just die.”
Challenge your Polly Squawks and change them into something more realistic and you need never worry about becoming a Polly Perfect.
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